


No One Knows (reader insert)

by Daniel_of_Mayfair



Series: Star Wars Rebels (reader insert) [2]
Category: Star Wars Rebels
Genre: Cannibalism, Choking, Cussing, Derealization, Execution, Father forgive me for I have sinned, Forced Kiss, Gen, Gore, Main character is whatever gender the reader is, Masturbation, Mind Games, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Sexual Bondage, Other, POV Second Person, POV Third Person, Physical Abuse, Poisoning, Post Season 2, Read The Damn Story, Reader Insert, Reader isn't in the best shape to begin with, Slow Burn, Spoiler! Tarkin is the one that fucks you up!, Starvation, Tarkin is a dick, Torture, Translation Collar, blindfold, drugged, earthborn reader, force sensitive reader, hes a strong old man, i guess i could say the reader is the main character, psychological abuse, undercover reader, whatever, writer has a torture fetish, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:46:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daniel_of_Mayfair/pseuds/Daniel_of_Mayfair
Summary: You've been an undercover Rebel spy for almost a year now, not particularly high up in either the Rebellions ranks nor the Empires ranks. Fairly expendable to either side. Among the many other undercover spies on the ship, you only knew the name and face of one. Agent Kallus, who which his identity as fulcrum was revealed to you accidentally. You work under him in a simple job. All you do is monitor the internal temperature and output of the sector 8 energy generator, really entry level.Things had gone relatively smoothly until Ezra Bridger and Kanan Jarrus of the Phoenix Squardon infiltrated the Imperial factory on Lothal. With knowledge that there was an insider that was giving out major Empire secrets on his ship, Grand Admiral Thrawn ordered transmissions of every type from anyone be monitored closely.You get caught. Your punishment?Execution.Or so you and everyone were told.





	1. Everyone Thinks You Are Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo just so you know, this whole thing is a adderall/caffeine fueled mess. My therapist says i should write this instead of do drugs!! i really like drugs, but i guess I'll give it a try and if a few people like the story as well, well that wouldn't hurt.
> 
>  
> 
> [ here's a pic of Kallus being a bad bitch after listening to Gucci Gucci ](http://star-weed-rebels.tumblr.com/post/157513512857)  
> 

You don't know how many weeks, months it's been.

You couldn't even see your fingernails to tell you how long it's been, not with the blindfold secured on your head, it's straps cutting into your throat, its second pair of straps flushed against your skull tightly, and the lock on the back of your head joining all of the leather. It made it almost impossible to sleep, whenever you did sleep. You pull futilely at the blindfold once more, it's the only thing that keeps you sane.

Even after all this time you've had alone to ponder anything in the entire universe, you still couldn't believe how the rebellion abandoned you. How Phoenix squadron abandoned you. How Sabine...

You stood up from your filthy pallet on the ground and raised your fist to beat against the wall. But before your hand made contact with the metal you stopped. 

'It's pointless.' You thought to yourself. 'I'll just waste my energy.'

You slumped down against the wall and drew your knees up. You felt around for the water container. Your hand eventually found the vessel. Shaking it around you could tell it was about a fourth way full. It was only about 2 liters so you had to save it. Thus, you should probably stay still when possible, you concluded.

You had no idea when _he_ was coming back.

Breathing deeply you laid back down on the 'bed'. You tried to clear your mind of everything besides Kallus. Your hope was that your connection to the force would finally come through and allow you to push your thoughts through to him. 

You ran your fingers up and down your arms feeling the scars from _him_. This always relaxed you and made focusing easier. 

Back when you were with the crew of the Ghost Kanan Jarrus, a Jedi Knight, had said something about communicating through the force.

Your knowledge about the force was limited. All you know is that you had a connection to it, according to Jarrus and Ezra Bridger, Jarrus' padawan. And apparently there's a lot you can do with the force. You mainly saw the two use it to move things and trick stormtroopers.

Kanan wasn't really able to teach you much, but before you were assigned to your position as an undercover agent he taught you the importance of meditation and focus.

So you did this a lot, mainly meditating on people you knew, trying to show them you were alive. 

If it was working, it sure didn't show because no one had come for you yet. 

This situation left you utterly doomed. There was no one looking for you, every one thought you were dead. Even Kallus, he had seen the whole thing laid out before him.

Your thoughts moved from the agent to what happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yeah, I know the summary is crap, but thanks for getting this far!


	2. You Traitor!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bad boi whatchu gonna do whatchu gonna do when they cum 4 u?

You had thought you were safe using a proxy to transmit messages to the rebellion, and yet, your one small mistake had led you to where you are now. 

_The blue hologram of Captain Syndulla flickering in front of you. The opening of the door you thought you locked. Governor Pryce's look of betrayal on her face. Grand Moff Tarkins calm unsurprised face._

_You quickly ended the transmission, but it was too late, her group of storm troopers that followed had you restrained on the ground with blasters aimed at you within seconds._

_"Well Governor Pryce, it seems we've found our double agent. It seems Agent 6B5 was the one sending transmissions under a proxy." You couldn't see his face but you could hear the smirk in his words._

_"Agent 6B5, you are under arrest for treason against the empire." Pryce spat, disgusted with you. "Take the traitor to the holding cells."_

_You were yanked up by your arms and shoved forward, hands bound behind your back. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o shit!!11! u got caught batch!!!


	3. A Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone visits your cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a caffeine headache  
> so im gonna complain about it on the internet instead of smokin

_Hours passed, you didn't know how many. No one came into your cell. You spent most of your time slamming your body against the control panel, but to no avail. With whatever time you used to rest your aching body, you listened to the awful screaming from other cells._

_Your mind was in a vicious cycle of panic and acceptance. Tears flowing at either stage._

_The door suddenly opened, you whipped around ready to charge but saw Agent Kallus. There were a group of storm troopers behind him, but he ordered them to wait outside. The cell door slid closed. You and him were alone._

_"What're you doing here?" You stepped closer._

_He stepped nearer, putting his hands on your shoulders. "Checking on you... and telling you what's happening."_

_You pulled away instinctively," Be careful, I don't want you to be associated with me."_

_He put his hands by his side,"Its okay, there are no cameras in here, not in the holding cells. Listen to me, you are in serious danger."_

_You faked a quick grin."Oh really? I didn't know that." You frowned," Kallus, I'm scared. What are they saying out there?"_

_"They are trying to make negotiations with the rebellion, trying to use you as a bargaining piece. However," he stopped_

_You waited._

_"I don't know how to say this." He looked away from you._

_You walked until you were beside him, trying to meet his gaze," Please tell me, I'm freaking out."_

_"They don't want you back."_

_You stopped, you must've misheard. "What? They don't want me back? What do you mean?"_

_He looked down at you," It means exactly what I said. They aren't negotiating with us, they said we can keep you."_

_You froze. What little hope you had left was breaking and draining out of you. You began to feel light headed. What was it Sabine had said? About them being a family? Were you not as valuable to them as you assumed?_

_"W-what? They are bluffing right? They are going to do a rescue mission though right? They need me I thought!" Your face paled and your palms sweat._

_"Kanan Jarrus **told** me I was force sensitive. That's gotta count for something." You began rambling._

_He turned around, away from you, placing his face in his palm. "I'm afraid not. The last message I received from them was quite awhile ago, they said they are laying low for now. They can't risk it, the last encounter was too costly, they lost almost half of their fleet and the fighter pil-"_

_"Enough!" You cut him off, you were shaking, and well aware of what he was going to say. You had received the same message, not realizing how serious it was until now. "What are we gonna to do?"_

_He stood up straight. "I don't know."_

_It was silent for a good minute._

_"What're they going to do to me?" You asked hesitantly._

_"Torture, I believe. For information." He still wasn't facing you, he was looking at the wall._

_"Damn, that's bad, I don't know anything." You looked at the man in front of you, fresh tears forming in your eyes. You hiccuped._

_The Imperial agent turned around," Maybe after they see you really don't know anything, they will send you off to a labor planet. And maybe soon the rebellion will be able to rescue you."_

_You smiled and sobbed," That's hopeful thinking." Tears fell down your face and on to the ground._

_"I have to leave, they will get suspicious if I stay any longer." He strode over to you and closed the space between the two of you, holding you in a tight embrace. You were surprised, but wished to return the gesture, however your hands were still bound behind your back. He let go. His empathetic tone left him, all that remained was his usual official Business-like monotone droning. "I'm sorry. I'll come back later to tell you their decision. May the force be with you."_

_"And you as well." You whispered as you watch him open the door and leave. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh geez I'm bad at writing fear.


	4. No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out your fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg have u seen that movie sausage party?  
> that was sum crazy shite.   
> *spoilers* it was like a gross train wreck, it was awful in theory but I couldn't look away and I actually enjoyed it

_When the cell door opened again it had been only a few hours later, or at least as far as you could tell. But who came through the door wasn't Agent Kallus. Instead it was Pryce, Tarkin and Thrawn. Your blood ran cold at the sight._

_You tensed up, your head was thrown into a whirl, this felt unreal, like a bad dream. "W-w-wha." You couldn't talk this was too much._

_You know seeing them that they have made up their mind. You hoped for mercy but deep down you knew mercy wasn't in their plans for you._

_You swallowed and finally mustered a sentence," What's the plan?"_

_Thrawn spoke with a light tone and a smile," Public execution."_

_You backed up, back hitting the wall and knees buckling. "No please, you need me, I-I have information, I can use the force."_

_"Retrieve the traitor." Admiral Thrawn ordered._

_"No!" You bolted to the door, attempting to push Pryce out of your way however as you moved passed her you felt all your muscles convulse as she stunned you with her taser._

_You fell to the ground. Immediately you felt yourself being yanked up by storm troopers for a second time that day._

_You turned your head back, and saw the appeased faces of the trio get smaller as you were dragged off.  
_

_You were forced down the sterile halls, your muscles twitching randomly and your teeth chattered all the while._

_"Where are you t-taking me?" You shouted to the stormtroopers that surrounded you as soon as you could control your mouth again._

_None of them answered._

_You stopped walking and repeated yourself louder this time._

_"Keep walking!" One of them behind you shoved you forward. You stumbled to your knees._

_Standing up before you could be jerked up, you turned around and lurched forward and hit him in the chest with your shoulder. "Quit pushing me!"_

_He was only pushed back a centimeter or so, hardly affected._

_The stormtroopers that were placed on either side of you hooked their arms in the loop that your arms and the cuffs that bound them made and dragged you backwards._

_You began dragging your feet and twisting your body,"Let me go!"_

_"Be quiet!" The same stormtrooper that had pushed you barked._

_"Just tell me where you are taking me!" You demanded as you stopped dragging your feet and began walking normally._

_They didn't answer._

_Using all your strength you jammed your heel into the back of the knee of the stormtrooper to your left. He stumbled and before you had the chance to do anything else the stormtrooper to your right let go of you and pistol whipped you in the back of the head with his blaster._

_You fell forward and blacked out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im drinking sum chamomile and lavender tea bc im super anxious i wish I had sum kratom but noooo 


	5. Boom.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i listened to yer led anal while writing this!!!

_You awoke, groggy and with a pounding headache. You couldn't exactly tell what the situation was, all you could comprehend was how bright it was and how loud it was. You stood up, and tried to take a step forward, only to realize you couldn't because your hands were chained to the ground._

_You lowered your head so your hands could reach your temples. Squeezing your eyes shut you tried to discern what the roaring in your ears was._

_It was actual roaring. Of people._

_You straightened your back, your eyes flying open as you did._

_Rows of storm troopers, columns of ISB agents. You were on a raised platform that over looked the audience, and above you even more people of higher ranks stood on balconies that lined the grand hall. Large white lights shined down on you making you squint as you looked up._

_Thrawns words ran through your head again._

_**Public execution.** _

_You quivered.  
_

_You had been in this hall only once before, up in one of the many balconies standing beside Agent Kallus. About five months ago, it had been to watch the execution of six conspirators against the empire in Grand Moff Tarkins sector of the empires occupied space. You had seen a few on the ship before. You had no idea that they were traitors._

_Remembering the firing squad ending all six of them with a blast to the heart seemed to make you leave your body. You almost felt like you were viewing the whole event from where you stood in the balcony all those months ago. You could see yourself standing hunched over along with the others. You saw the chains you wore, and the tears that fell down your face. You felt pity for the souls standing down there, as if you weren't the one in line to die._

_A sob ripped you from this calming state back into your petrifying reality. The noise had come from a man on your right._

_You looked to your sides. There were three others and you had no idea who they really were. Well at least not the two to your right, the one to your left was a woman who looked in her late 20s. During meals she sat a few seats down from you, you never talked to her but you've heard her before. She was rowdy and always seemed in good spirits._

_But now her purple eyes were glued to the ground and her blonde hair laid messily around her face rather than it pulled up and under an Empirical cap._

_"You! You are a-" but you stopped, bent down and put your hands to your neck._

_The woman looked at you questioningly. She couldn't understand you because your translation collar was removed, you realized. You stuck a finger inside your right ear, your translator was gone as well._

_The room grew silent and you looked up to see Tarkin on top of the platform, his back facing you and the other three._

_What he was saying didn't matter to you. Nothing mattered any more._

_He made a gesture behind him and turned his head to look at all of you before looking back at the audience. They jeered and made sounds of displeasure._

_Your eyes flicked up to the balconies. You searched for Kallus' face. You couldn't find him. Maybe he would save you. 'Yeah!' You thought. 'That's what he's doing right now!' You allowed yourself to grin a little._

_You looked for Pryce and Thrawn, knowing they wouldn't want to miss an opportunity like this. 'The death of a backstabber? Who wouldn't want to miss that?'_

_Your false sense of security was shattered as soon as it was formed as you saw the cerulean skin of the Admiral. Along with him was the Governor and your last hope, Kallus._

_Another tear of many hit the ground as you met his gaze._

_Tarkins speech lasted for maybe four minutes._

_Finally, he asked a question to the crowd. They cheered loudly. You looked at the other traitors, their expressions became grimmer than before._

_The old man turned around as four fully outfitted storm troopers reached the top of the stairs. Each soldier stopped about a meter in front of their target._

_'A distance not even a stormtrooper could miss at.' You thought snarkily._

_The Grand Moff yelled an order._

_You jumped. But the squad only took aim._

_Everything after that was slow, he asked you and the others a question that no one answered._

_He took a brisk breath._

_He yelled once more before you could duck._

_**Boom.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh!!!! My head hurts!!!


	6. Here He Comes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your tormentor visits you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really long chapter!

You were ripped from your meditation by a knocking on the door. It opened at once. The action was more out of habit than out of concern for you.

You sat up from the pallet. 

His boots clacked and the door closed, your head turned away from the man. You heard him release a loud sigh. You couldn't tell if it was because he was tired or because he had to deal with you, maybe both.

"Stand up." Tarkin said.

You ignored him, staying in your place, your cheeks flushed in anger. His request made you squirm inside, you wished to whine, but would never give him the pleasure.

"Stand UP!" You heard a loud bang and almost jumped up to your feet, presumably he hit the wall with his fist, again.

"Now, Come here."

You decided you would listen to him the first time he asked, you knew what happened when you got him too angry.

You treaded with heavy feet towards the voice. As soon as you got close enough he grabbed you by your wrist and held your arm out in front of you. 

His fingers ran softly up and down your arm. Up to your shoulders, down to your elbow. He lifted your arms to inspect with both his eyes and hands. 

You knew by memory where the scars were and you knew he was tracing them.

Changing arms, he focused on the inside of your wrist. Lightly glossing over the area at first but gradually he applied more and more pressure until he switched fingers and his thumb was digging into your skin and tendons. You let out a low growl.

"That still hurts?" He asked quietly as if he was talking to himself.

You nod.

"Hm, well it shouldn't, this is from weeks ago. Have you been hitting yourself?" It was sarcastic, but you actually did a few days ago trying to get some kind of thrill. 

You shook your head.

"Then it could just be malnutrition effecting your healing cycle. We can fix that," He let go of your wrist and stepped closer," if you're good that is. Will you do that? Will you be good?" With each sentence his voice became more serious.

You stepped back, putting your hands behind your back.

"Yes or no? I will not help you if we have a repeat of last time!" He stepped even closer.

You quickly nodded several times, with your fingers crossed. 

He stayed in his position for a few moments, pondering whether he could trust you or not.

Finally. "Ok."

Suddenly you were grabbed by the shoulders and violently turned around.

"Your silence bores me, I'll turn on your translation collar." You heard the beeps and boops of a numerical password being typed in.

He took his hand off your shoulder, you turned around.

"Speak." 

You sigh a little, looked down and whispered a scratchy,"Hello."

"Hello." He invaded your space again and turned you around by the shoulders... again. He lifted the back of the filthy undershirt that you wore. 

You wait for him to ask his usual, stupid question. 

"How are you doing?" He questioned.

You hesitated at first, wanting to say something smartassy but decide to tell him how you actually feel. "I'm hungry." 

He outlined the raised scars on your back, and stopped on a sensitive spot to the left of your spine.

"This looks inflamed, does this hurt?" He said matter-of-factly as he jammed his finger in the infected area.

"Ah! Yes it does." You grunted, your back arched and you lurched forward, getting away from the man.

"Damn, antibiotics may be required." He stepped away from you. "Don't go anywhere, I'll be back." He sounded so damn happy to make that little joke.

"Wouldn't dream of it." You softly monologued.

The door opened and shut. You let out a loud sigh. You squatted down, too weak to keep standing. Your breaths began getting deeper and more forceful. Him. _Him._

He always did this stupid routine. His demanding tone, him playing nice, taking care of the wounds _he_ made. This stupid routine. It's been so long since _naughty time_ as he called it. It's only a matter of days before the next session. Who knows what that sick man has in store for you.

You think so far the worst thing he has done to you is carved the Imperial symbol onto your right shoulder. That was one of the first things he did to you. Very early on in your containment. While it may not have been the most painful thing, it certainly was the most sickening thing he's committed. 

Thoughts of the ghost crew ran through your head, it's been probably a year or even more since you last saw them in person.

'God, what would they think of me if they saw me right now? All weak and submissive.' You thought, your face heating up as your next thought came through,' It's not like I've changed that much I guess.'

You bit your lip and tears began forming in your blindfolded eyes.

"It's not like they even care about me though." You thought aloud. You remember Kallus bringing you the bad news, you guessed it just showed where you really stood with them.

You raised your fist and slammed it against the ground, it hurt but you didn't care, you dug your face into your other hand. Small sniffles were ripped from you.

You heard the door open and close again.

You stood up and attempted to compose yourself, wiping the snot from your nose with your arm. 

"No need to cry," Tarkin clacked towards you, your back still exposed and facing him. "I'll take care of you. I even brought food for you, if you're good remember."

He set the tray of food down with a clank. The smell casually made its way to your nose. 'God, it smells good.' You swallow thickly.

"Now let me clean this up." He said. He began rubbing some type of antibacterial cream on the spot on your back.

You breathed quickly with clenched teeth, emitting a hissing sound. However you stood still until he was finished.

He pulled your shirt back down.

"Okay one more place to check, then you may eat." The old man remarked.

You already knew which one he was talking about. Turning around, you pull down the neckline of the tank top to reveal the blaster wound, directly above your heart. You had no idea what it looked like. All you knew is that it was raised and sensitive, like the area had been burnt and is blistering. You had a sister wound on your back, but it was no where as painful.

The Grand Moff massaged the area with the same cream he used on your back. It stung, although you refused to hiss in pain again. He rubbed another cream on the spot, it felt cool and tingly.

He took a step back and you pulled your shirt back up.

"You've been actually pleasant to be around this time, maybe you are learning." A smile made itself clear in his voice.

You scoffed, getting sick of his patronizing ways. " Yeah, sure. How long has it been? Since I've eaten anything?"

He made a hum of displeasure from your sudden burst of attitude,"Why does it matter to you?" You heard him lift the tray from the ground.

"It doesn't I guess." You replied.

Running your fingers through your hair you notice something disturbing. Where the straps met your hair, you felt it thinning. You slightly tugged at it, and gasped at how easily it came out. 

"5 days." He was in front of you.

Your hand launched out in front of his face with the tuft of hair in it for him to see.

He stepped back, startled. A moment passed. He then forced out a heavy breath and pushed your hand down. He spoke with a disgruntled voice,"I assure you, I could not care less about your hair."

You let the strands fall to the ground with a sigh.

He grabbed your hand, placing a few pills in your palm. "Antibiotics." He stated.

You bent down to pick up the container of water and swallowed it.

'Wow,' you thought,'that's the longest he's left me alone without food.'

"Are you hungry?" It wasn't almost a question, he knew the answer of course.

"Yes." You said bluntly.

"Hm, I don't believe you." You hear him take a bite of the food, it sounded crisp like a fruit. "Beg." he said, his mouth full.

You really wanted that food, you wouldn't let your pride get in the way of that.

"Please." You whispered hoarsely.

**Crunch.**

"Please what?" He said, leaning forward, consequently spraying you with pieces of fruit. 

You turned your head in disgust.  
"Please may I have some food?"

He was quiet for a few moments. You hoped your "begging" was enough for him. He had done this once before, but that time he had been appeased by a simple "please".

"Hmm, here." He put the bitten off fruit in your hand. 

You greedily began chomping into the fruit. It tasted so sweet with a tinge of sour, you could almost immediately feel your blood sugar rise. Your hair stood up, your eyes watered. 

Soon nothing was left but a pit which you dropped on the ground and you quickly held your hands out for more. "More, please! May I have more food please!" You begged. That small snack was barely enough to make a dent in your hunger, if anything it reawakened it and reminded you of just how hungry you are.

"Hm, not yet, you'll have to wait." He answered.

You were shaking, this was driving you mad, you _needed_ to eat. You heard humans could survive weeks with out food, but that was probably a stretch and was meant for people who were healthy. "What do I need to do? I'll do it, please, just give me the food." You walked towards him, lightly grabbing him by his uniform and trying to sneak your hand onto the tray.

"Get off you swine!" He shouted and kicked you away from him.

You had enough, you knew he would punish you, but you needed that food. You pounced toward him weakly aiming where you thought the tray was, but instead tackled him.

You heard the tray clatter to your left. Diving to where you heard the noise. You shuffled your arms madly on the floor and eventually landed your hand on a small soft-squishy substance. Shoving it in your mouth you realized it had some sort of meat in it. You rapidly found two more and shoved them into your mouth. 

Bliss. It tasted so good.

You weren't able to enjoy it for too long though. Tarkin wrapped his arms underneath your shoulders and dragged you up. He put you in a choke hold and began pressing against your neck.

"You peon! What did I say about being good? Are you stupid!" He shouted in a rage. 

You swallowed the sustenance with difficulty and began trying to twist your way out of his grasp which continually got tighter.

Your ears began to ring and your head buzzed. Your hands were grasping at his arm. You soon realized this was useless and let your body go limp, as if you had passed out. He flung your body down and kicked you in the stomach.

Your whole self tingled, and your head pounded. The food you just ate threatened to come up. You heard mumbling and the tray being picked up and boots clacking away.

On all fours you crawled over to where the tray had spilled only to discover crumbs were left.

The door opened. Your head jerked towards the sound.

"WAIT!" You shouted. Emotions ran rampant in your head, well one emotion specifically; Fear. It gripped your body like ice, and set your mind on fire. You threw your hand out in front of you and bent your fingers. A sudden surge of energy flowed through your body. You... You felt something. It almost felt as if you had grabbed Tarkin by his shoulder.

He gasped lightly. 

You gasped as well. 

The clash of the tray hitting the ground for its third time resounded through the room.

The tension in the room was so thick it felt as if it was suffocating you. You don't know what just happened, but you knew it was bad news for you. 

Sitting back on your haunches, you held the offending hand close to your face. 

Tarkin slowly turned around and with a creeping pace walked toward you.

"Wha-" You started and began crawling back. 

Your back hit the walk. 

"I-I don't know what that w-was." You stuttered.

The man squatted down right in front of you, his breath hitting your face. You turned your head only for him to grab your chin and force your face in place.

"Oh, you know exactly what it was." He whispered. He ran his fingers through your hair then snagged it, yanking your head upward.

A hiss left your mouth

"It's the force-" His fingers tickled your chin. "-and if you ever use it on me again," He drew back his hand from your chin into a fist and slugged you square in the middle of your face. 

You yelped. Cracking resonated inside your skull. Your head hit the wall behind you.

Tarkin stood up and yanked you up by your hair, and grabbed your neck, slamming you against the wall.

He leaned in and muttered into your ear. "You. Will. Die."

He let go of you and you began gulping for breaths. You slid down the wall, whimpering and cradling your broken and bleeding nose.

The door opened.

"I'll see you tomorrow. I hope you are feeling... naughty." He said on a light note.

The door closed.

And you sat.  
And you bled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this dudes  
> I know I did  
> actually kinda proud of this shite!1!1!1


	7. Just A Normal Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a normal day for Kallus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strangely enough, while writing the this chapter and the next one i was listening to weezer lmao. It's not even the idk tone im going for (if you could even say this mess has tone )
> 
> god I wish I had some weed

It has been one month, seventeen days and eleven hours since the last execution of traitors of the Empire and spies of the Rebellion, give or take a few minutes.

Kallus walked the hallways of the Star Destroyer he was aboard to a weapons control room, one of many he was assigned to overlook. Not that they would need to be in use anytime soon, that it seemed. No it was just for a routine maintenance check of the systems.

Fortunately, for the agent, the past few weeks have been uneventful. No encounters with the Rebellion and no encounters of any personal kind either. 

No one talked to the man unless it had to do with the empire, or if someone did engage in small talk it was just a segue to something about the rebellion. Used to this wouldn't have bothered the ISB agent because he was just as obsessed as everyone else at his level on overachieving at his work.

But after he decided he no longer personally aligned with the Empire. The constant babble about new findings and new shipments of weapons and new traps ground down on his nerves. It angered him how the Empire pretended they were for helping everyone, but in reality it was just all for helping itself. It further angered him how helpless and alone the situation left him feeling. What could he do? He couldn't just up and leave, especially someone in his position. They would hunt him down swiftly, he wouldn't be able to outrun the Empire. Even if he hid they would undoubtedly snuff him out.

Eventually, He couldn't take sitting around and doing nothing anymore. With much hesitation he contacted the rebellion anonymously using an advanced proxy telling them he had information that could help the rebellion immensely. And after helping the group avoid the Empires clutches and gain some supplies, they had set up a code phrase for him. "By the light of Lothals moons."

They called him Fulcrum.

Some time later, perhaps two weeks or so, a new batch of ship operatives arrived and were assigned to the weapons systems area that Kallus over saw. It may have seemed unrelated to him at the time, but the Agent would swear it was fate to this day.

This is when he met Agent 5B6

The too familiar face appeared in his head, followed by a full body throb that lasted a few seconds.

He clenched his fists, pushing the face back down into the back of his mind, breathing deeply trying to bare the pain.

He came to the doorway that he came to every late morning. The two stormtroopers that guarded the area greeted him and opened the door.

Inside were rows of screens and buttons. Operatives talking amongst each other, clearly slacking, one worker even had her feet up on a display.

Kallus cleared his throat loudly. The room went silent. The woman put her feet down and turned around.

"Sector 8! Good morning." Kallus stated the way he does every morning.

"Good Morning Sir." They droned in unison. 

"I need reports! Where is Agent 5B-" his tongue slipped, but he caught it before completing their ID.  
" Where is Agent 2T5?"

His whole body began throbbing.

Even though he corrected himself the room still stared taken aback he had mentioned _them_. To be honest, Agent Kallus had surprised himself by the mistake as well, this hadn't happened before. One trait of his personality, whether considered a perk or a detriment, was how he could hide his emotions and ignore his own trifles. But for the last few days, that face has been finding its way into his thoughts more and more. Almost as much as the two weeks after the execution.

The way their face paled when they saw him upon the balcony.

How many tears fell.

The blast going straight through their heart.

He tore himself away from the memories, the pounding subsiding.

The new representative for the unit had yet to appear before the man.

"Where is Agent 2T5?" Kallus repeated more sternly this time.

There were small bursts of mumbling before one spoke up. "We don't know where she is, we didn't see her at breakfast, she may still be asleep."

"What!" Kallus shouted," Asleep?!"

"Y-yessir, she said she was feeling too tired." Another voice spoke stuttered.

"Unbelievable. If she can't get over a little drowsiness then she isn't fit for being this units representative. Come up with another choice among yourselves today." He sighed," I'll check up with each section today so get your personal reports ready. I shouldn't have to be telling you all this."

He needed a minute or two to cool off.

Kallus walked up the steps to the main control station for the weapons unit. Tiredly, he plopped down in the seat and typed his password on the keyboard. He rested his chin in his hand as his eyes moved across the screen. Nothing really seemed out of place except for section 2. The energy output levels were not what is expected meaning somewhere there was a person not doing their job correctly. But it's not like it really mattered to the man.

After a few minutes of checking out the general information from the display, Kallus approached the people that over saw section 2. 

"Why is the output lower than predicted for your section?" He questioned.

The five looked at each other, dumbfounded.

"Well?" The Agent pushed.

At once, fingers were flying and tabs were being opened and closed.

Finally a chubby man made himself heard," Uh, well you see, the area isn't getting enough energy from the main nuclear reactors."

"Yes and?" Kallus raised an eyebrow.

The man looked around to his peers and then looked back to Kallus. "Well that's it."

The Agent put a finger to his temple and closed his eyes," It's your job to figure out why the energy from the reactor core isn't getting to your section." He gritted his teeth. This wasn't the first time something like this happened this week.

Their face appeared in his mind again. 

He suddenly slammed his fist against a display. "Slackers!" Kallus yelled. 

The whole room jumped back in surprise.

The ISB agent looked around.

"It's sad that a _traitor_ worked harder for the Empire than any of you have. You lot are lucky I don't report you all for incompetence! If you don't think you can easily be replaced within a week then you are sadly mistaken." He spat.

He stormed off to the door. The door opened automatically. Before he stepped through he turned around.

"I'll be coming back in a few hours. All of you better have got your reports straight and a new unit representative." And with a huff he left them to their work. 

He hadn't gotten this worked up about work since he actually supported the Empire. It's just, he didn't realize how lazy his subordinates were and yes he realized that mostly they were younger but he didn't expect them to act like children. Agent 5B6 had dealt with this ever since they got on this star destroyer, and turned their endless mucking about into actual information. It wasn't a very mentally taxing job, it was just rather boring and repetitive.

And what kind of reward did they get? Death.

Kallus growled under his breath and clenched his eyes shut. Forcing these thoughts down were getting harder and harder and with them headaches and body pains followed.

He headed off to his office, surely plenty of paperwork had built up overnight.

He stepped inside his office and sat down at his desk. Nothing of real interest showed up on his screen. Authorizing requests and giving his signature of approval on a variety of things that came from the many units he oversaw. 

Even with all the people who were beneath and constantly around him a deep ache of loneliness throbbed within him. No one on the station cared about him. Even with his set of skills and his rank, he knew exactly how replaceable he was. He wished to be away from here.

The Lasat Garazeb Orrelios's offer from perhaps a year and a half ago crossed his mind. Kallus could've joined the rebellion then and there, but foolishly refused. He missed the chance to make things right. However, he made his own chance to fix things by becoming Fulcrum.

He just wished the rebellion would pick themselves back up so they could plan a rescue mission to save him. Agent Kallus knew that wouldn't be soon though, especially since they weren't even able to save one of their own who was a force sensitive being.

And yet again, their face appeared in his mind along with the throbbing ache per usual.

Putting his head down on his desk, he decided to let his thoughts flow. 

He thought of the more pleasant times they had together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ey mang just so u know 
> 
> it's 100% ok 2 rosed me in the comments  
> Lmao but I prefer nice things  
> Doesng every1
> 
> But I'm a who're fo feetback


	8. More Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kallus Reminisces about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on an island n the suuuuun  
> we'll be playin n havin fuuuuun  
> and it makes me feel so fine  
> i cant control my brain

_He already thought they were a bit out of place, with their translation collar and the strange language they spoke to themselves whenever they took off the device to give their neck some air. He also noted how they didn't understand basic._

_Plenty of beings in the galaxy didn't speak or understand basic, however most of them were from small backwater planets and were more, simple minded._

_What really drew it all together for Kallus was not that unlike most agents their rank they lacked a clique or at least another person they talked to. It was that Agent-6B5 took a sort of inclination towards him._

_They annoyed him at first. It felt like they just were cajoling him._

_They would always say,"Good morning." Or ask "How are you?" Not necessarily weird, but unnecessary._

_The first week the operatives were brought in, they offered to be unit representative when no one else would. So every time Kallus came to check in on the unit, 6B5 would always be right in the door way with a datapad of diagnostics of whatever was faulty with any of the sectors. They would then shyly ask him if he would like to come with them to the actual core reactor to inquire the workers down there about the problems and find someone who can fix it._

_At first Kallus would always refuse, but he soon realized he had nothing better to do with no rebel attacks going on._

_When he finally agreed, their eyes lit up and smile cracked across their face._

_They led him down the corridors lower and lower into the hull of the ship. It was a little awkward for him, but he actually did enjoy going down to the reactor with them. Seeing how everything works, finding the problems, and solving them. It all was very much pleasing._

_The Agent began noticing the things the subordinate said to him weren't loaded with anything that could be used to get some sort of advantage. It just seemed like friendly banter more than anything. They would crack jokes about their co-workers or the awful food that was served aboard the ship. 6B5 was relatable. As they warmed up to each other, both lost their sense of professionalism bit by bit, not in a physical sense, but in the way they talked to each other. They sat by each other at dinner meals and talked about the boring day, trying to make the best of it._

_Kallus thought it was a nice change of pace. The loneliness of being Fulcrum faded for a bit. Even if it was someone who served under the Empire, at least someone cared enough to ask how he was doing and listened._

_Then the man made one of the best mistakes he had made in a long time._

_It had been about 2 months since their arrival on the star destroyer._

_They were walking back to their unit from the reactor core, gossiping about one of their co-operatives and whispered," You can't tell anyone though."_

_They reached the door to the unit and it slid open._

_He replied," I swear by the light of Lothals moons."_

_They looked at him strangely, mouth open a bit, not knowing what to say. They quickly shook their head and turned around to go into the room, they turned their head back and said," Goodbye Sir, I'll see you later." With a small smile as the door closed._

_This did mess with Kallus' head a bit, as he realized it was the code phrase. But it shouldn't had been that weird to hear. Could they be on to him? No, he said it so often, it shouldn't seem weird to an Imperial base-level worker._

_He headed off to his office to work on some orders he had to sign off on._

_It was as boring as usual. After an hour or so, Kallus laid his head on desk, beginning to doze off._

_He heard a knock on the door. He jerked his head up and pressed a button that opened the door._

_It was Agent 6B5, which was weird. They never came to his office._

_"Oh Hello, do you need something?" Kallus asked earnestly._

_"Uh yes, I just need you to, um, sign something." They walked to his desk. "It's just to give me clearance to a more guarded part of the core reactor."_

_They put the datapad and pen on the desk._

_Kallus picked up the pad and his eyes widened._

_'I know you're Fulcrum, you used the code phrase. Don't worry, I'm with the rebellion too. I was in the same squadron as Garazeb Orrelios, he told me about you. I would've never guessed you were Fulcrum. Does the rebellion know who you are? Should I tell them on my next transmission? Please write it down.'_

_He looked up at the Agent, he should've guessed. They definitely stuck out too much to be just an operative. The man guessed the irony helped hide the fact they were a spy._

_"Um sir?" They said," Are you going to sign it?"_

_Kallus quickly jumped from his thoughts and began writing._

_'No, they do not know. Do not tell them. They are not ready to know. Leave my office after I give this back to you. I will see you at dinner.'_

_The man gave the subordinate the pad, who then read the message (after they translated it of course)._

_"Thank you sir, have a good day." They turned around to leave," See you at dinner."_

_While at first he didn't trust the young 'spy' the rebellion confirmed they were a part of them._

_After that day, they seemed much more at ease in each other's company. Although they made sure to keep up appearances. For months they would follow the same routine of going down to the core and doing an all-too-through check of the area. While in public they never talked about anything suspicious. However in Kallus' office, they could talk about anything and everything. He had the ability to block the microphones in his room, this wasn't a problem either because no one had any reason to spy on the Agent._

_He actually felt happy with life, even though recently the rebellion had fallen in hard times and he received a message about how they wouldn't be able to do any rescue missions anytime soon, he still had hope. He was helping the rebellion and was making a friend while doing so. Everything seemed too good to be true._

_And apparently it was because it soon came to an end._

_Ten months later, Kallus caught wind of new Imperial weaponry. A new type of TIE fighters that used shield technology._

_He decided he would share the location of the information._

_This caused a whole slew of events to occur. That ended with his identity being revealed to the rebellion, him getting thrown out a glass window, and the rebellion receiving the plans. Not to mention Grand Admiral Thrawn demanding a stricter surveillance of transmissions around the ship, waiting for the mole to make it's next move._

_Despite Kallus' warnings, 6B5 continued sending transmissions and well._

Kallus lifted his head off the desk.

It has been one month, seventeen days and twelve hours since Agent 6B5 was martyred, give or take a few minutes.

And Kallus remembered every single detail of it.

_He had been busy with other spies and traitors, escorting them to holding cells and such. It seemed quite a few were found that day. When he returned to main control room where Thrawn, Governor Pryce and Grand Moff Tarkin were, they all turned towards him._

_"Agent Kallus I am sure you have heard the news?" Governor Pryce spoke._

_"About all these traitors? Yes, I was just putting one away." He replied in a serious tone._

_"Ah, I assume you heard about Agent 6B5 then?" Thrawn questioned him._

_The mans' heart nearly stopped, his eyes widened only slightly though. "No, I have not. Can you please elaborate?"_

_"They were a spy." Tarkin chimed._

_Kallus felt faint but hid his emotions well. "Oh my, I had no idea."_

_"I know you were some what close with them. It is a shame really, you two got along swell." Thrawn smiled a little. "Are you working with the Rebellion as well?"_

_"No sir." The Agent answered calmly, "I would never associate with those terrorists."_

_"Good." Thrawn said._

_"I can't believe you couldn't tell they were a spy! They were always around you and you didn't even catch it a bit?" The Governor scoffed,"Unbelievable."_

_"Now, Now Governor Pryce, all the red flags appear are invisible when you look through rose-colored glasses." Tarkin walked towards Kallus," He couldn't help it."_

_The Agent didn't say anything to this, all he really wanted to do was see 6B5._

_"So what is the plan?" The man said. "Are we going to negotiate with the rebellion? Are they willing?" He was almost quaking in his boots._

_"We already made contact with them." Said the Chiss. "They aren't being compliant. The plan is a public execution, to make an example of them."_

_For a moment, Kallus forgot about 6B5 and thought instead about his own mortality. He knew joining the rebellion was dangerous, however he thought he might be meeting his doom swiftly on a battle field. Not like this. Not slowly cornering him in this cushy Imperial life. It wouldn't be long until he was found out as well._

_He came back to the situation at hand. "Wouldn't that just make the lot a martyr for the rebellion?" He tried to reason, not trying to sound argumentative._

_"Martyrs are just what the Rebels call people who have gotten caught and those who can't be saved. There's no honor in dying, just death." The woman voiced._

_"As she said." Thrawn glanced toward Kallus._

_"I see." The ISB agent whispered._

_"Are you okay Agent Kallus?" Tarkin asked,"You look quite pale." The Grand Moff seemed to be the least surprised about the whole mole bust, he appeared to be almost happy._

_"Please may I speak to them." He spoke,"I-I just cannot believe this."_

_"Certainly, we'll send a squad with you just in case." Thrawn pressed a button to call a group of stormtroopers to the room._

_The walk to the cell was rushed and worry-filled._

_Seeing them in the cell with their hands bound behind their back made everything real._

_He told the soldiers to wait outside._

_And talked to them for the last time._

_It was all a blur._

_He couldn't exactly remember what he said. He tried to calm them down. He knew he couldn't tell them the truth though._

_As soon as tears began dripping off their face the man knew he had to leave. He felt his own throat tightening. He stepped toward his subordinate and wrapped his arms around them in a embrace not afraid of appearing suspicious because of the lack of peering eyes and cameras._

_He excused himself._

_"I'm sorry, I'll come back later to tell you their decision. May the force be with you." He drained the emotion from his voice and turned around, facing the door._

_"And you as well."_

_Kallus walked out and the door closed behind him._

_The next few hours had been preparing the execution and rallying the staff of the ship._

_He still had appearances to uphold, so he joined Thrawn and Pryce for the event._

_The Grand Moff had already started his speech on what happens when you cross the Empire or some other mess._

_He made eye contact with them. Their face red and puffy from crying, but as soon as they saw him it looked as if their heart broke. They hunched over and looked down._

_He saw four stormtroopers approached the stage. Tarkin finished up and asked," Are you ready?" Cheers ripped throughout the hall. The old man turned to face the four victims._

_Kallus bit his own lip._

_The firing squad stopped._

_"Aim!" Tarkin shouted._

_He addressed the four," Was it worth it?"_

_He breathed in quickly," Fire!"_

_The Agent closed his eyes and looked away._

_**Boom.** _

_It rang in his ears._

_After a few seconds he forced himself to look down at the scene._

_They laid on the ground, face in a terrified expression. The gun man had hit his target exactly where he needed to for it to be fatal. The other three lay in similar positions, legs flailed out._

_They were dead._

The throb of pain intensified throughout Kallus' body. Whenever these memories came into his mind it was like he was sore, like he had been beaten. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was anger. 

He stood up and paced furiously around the room for a bit. He grabbed his head, just wishing for the episode to stop. 

After a few minutes it slowed to a stop. However, he knew it was getting worse. 

Every time they appeared in his head it happened. And that was becoming more and more often.

He thought the mourning was bad.

_He cried._

_Cradling the meteor their shared friend had given him, he sat in his bunk weeping. He even took the day off the next day to wallow in his own sadness. He felt like a child. He has no one to go to. Just himself._

_After a few days of having to excuse himself to calm his nerves, the Agent was finally able to fabricate a facade of normalcy. It still haunted him how much 6B5's death effected him. He had killed so many, seen so many executed. Even some semi-close subordinates had been executed not two meters away. This one however, hurt the most._

Kallus stopped pacing.

He needed to get out of this place.

He was going to contact the Rebellion tonight and ask for an emergency rescue mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we'll run away togetheeeeer  
> we'll spend some time forevereeer  
> we'll never feel bad anymoreeeew
> 
>  
> 
> [ here i actually drew a scene from this chapter ](http://star-weed-rebels.tumblr.com/post/157557138952/check-out-my-fic-no-one)  
> 


	9. Dear.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god 2day was ruff i got really depressed and cried a lot 
> 
> but i feel fuckin better now cuz I drank a shit ton of green and chamomile and lavender tea
> 
> therapist says i need to see my psychiatrist again bc my anxiety is getting bad again 
> 
> anyways heres a really fuckin long chapter

You cried for yourself.

Gross, loud, opened mouth sobbing. 

Blood and snot ran down your face and you instinctually tried to snort up the mucus which resulted in more pain in your nose.

You can't believe he punched you in the fucking face. 

Sure, he had punched you in the stomach, branded you with hot metal, etched an Imperial Brand on you (which you still believed was the worst yet) but this felt different. It didn't feel like he did it out of his sick pleasure of seeing you in pain. More like he was angry, well more like livid.

You must've really pissed him off.

By using the force. At least you think that's what it was.

A twinge of what may have been hope made your heart jump. 

'Am I actually force-sensitive?' You thought genuinely wondering to yourself.

But you quickly ran through Tarkins' last words to you. He said he would kill you if you used the force on him again. And damn you believed him. 

'Why?'

You didn't have answers. You wouldn't likely have any until _naughty time_.

The term gave you chills.

You hated how the translator in your ear interpreted the term. The technology wasn't perfect, it had its flaws. The connotation of naughty had been somewhat sexual when you had last been on Earth, however the translator seemed to use it interchangeably with the word bad. You had heard the translator use it a few times while you were with the Ghost crew and on the star destroyer. But you had to wonder if the translator was actually accurate. What if he did get some sick sexual pleasure from it?

'God.' Your stomach lurched and you pushed the thought in the deepest crevices that your mind would allow you to. You prayed to whatever gods or entities or forces that were out there that this was not the case.

You breathed deeply, trying to calm yourself. You meditated on Kallus' face. It seemed you could at least use the force a little, so maybe he could sense you or something, again you weren't too clear on how this worked.

When you finally were able to calm down, well at least relatively, you took your quivering hands away from your nose and grabbed your shirt hem. Gently, you began dabbing the area under your nose.

You didn't want to know how bad it was, you refused to run your fingers over the broken cartilage. You knew you wouldn't be able to handle how out of place it was right now.

You were able to slump over on your mat and rest despite the throbbing pain of your crushed nose.

Your dreams seemed to mock you. You dreamed you were home. Not in this chamber. Not in that bland shared room on that star destroyer. Not in that colorful but cramped room on the Ghost that you shared with Sabine. You were in your room in your home on Earth. You were alone and had headphones in your ears and were on your phone. Wrapped up in blankets, you watched some dumb YouTube video with a black bird begging in its text-to-speech voice to another bird to "Lemme Smash". You laughed as you scrolled through the comments. Suddenly, a text appeared on your screen. You clicked on it and it took you to the messaging app.

_Look beside you._

It was your friend. The one who you also dragged into this mess.

You looked to your side. They were by your side in the blankets as well.

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. They smiled and put a finger to your lips.

You wanted to say sorry. You wanted to tell them that you were still looking for them and that you never gave up.

"It's okay." They said. "I know you haven't given up on me." They smiled

Your room melted around you, turning into the place you met them all that time ago. Your feet met the ground and you stood facing your friend.

"It's been so long since I last seen you though. Are you still the same?" They asked.

'Of course!' You thought.

They grabbed your hands. "Have you given up on you though?" They ran their hands over your arms. You looked down, the scars... the burns... the bruises...

You knew it probably looked bad, but in your dream it almost looked like a different persons arms. The discoloration was almost continuous across the flesh. There wasn't a spot that wasn't severely disfigured. 

It was so ugly. It made you feel sick.

What was there to fight for anymore? Sure you could maybe use a little bit of the force, but Tarkin had such a huge upper hand that there was nothing you could do. Even if you did use what little bit of the force you were capable on him, he could easily kill you as soon as he felt it. You knew you would die in that cursed room. What was there left to keep fighting for? No one is really looking for you. No one really cared. No one Knows.

You began sinking, everything was getting darker. The gravity of the situation manifested itself in the velocity at which you fell. Before you just assumed someone would be out looking for you just in case but, why would they do that? For all things practical, you were dead.

The skin from your fingers yellowed and festered. The rotted flesh began peeling back and falling off revealing thin layers of yellow fat and under that, red and white muscle. The process continued up your arms. You frantically tried catching the flesh and muscles and veins that were stripped away. Soon your fingers were but bones, next your arms and feet. You cried out as you saw your foot bones disintegrate into dust and the process continued up your body. Your hands flew up to your eyes as you clenched them. You couldn't bare to watch the end.

You felt a pair of hands grab your wrists. They were pulled away from your face. You opened your eyes and your hands were back to their relatively normal and scarred state. Your friends face in front of you, they looked worried.

You two were back in your room.

'I'm gonna die alone or with this sadistic man.' You felt tears fall from your eyes.

"No." They put a hand up to your cheek and wiped away a tear with their thumb. "You won't."

You grabbed the hand and leaned your face into it.

"You can't give up. I promise you there is hope for you." 

Emotions flooded through you, you threw your arms around your friends neck, squeezing your eyes closed.

'What do I do?' You thought desperately.

They wrapped their arms around your shoulders.

"The Force." They whispered in your ear. "The Force is with you."

'Tarkin will kill me if I use it.' You squeezed them tightly, missing them dearly.

"Not on him, the Ghost, Sabine, Kallus..." They pulled away, however both you and their arms stayed in place. 

'How do you know them...' you searched their eyes for answers.

"It's not important." They backed away, and your arms fell slowly to your side. "Use the Force, meditate, focus your energies on those who were close to you." They stepped back more. "I've got to go now." 

Their words hit you like a sack of bricks. The background of your dream suddenly turned stark black once more.

'No!' You ran towards them but the faster you ran, the farther away they went into the distance.

"You've got to wake up." They said

'No!' You ran harder, reaching your hand out.

"Wake up."

You shook your head and bit your lip still sprinting.

"WAKE UP!" You heard a masculine voice yell.

Your actual eyes flew open, revealing the blackness of your blindfold. You put your palm down on the ground and pushed your body up, leaning on your arm.

**Click clack click clack.**

He walked toward you.

You coward back into the corner of the room in which your pallet was. You shook as he neared you.

He stopped in front of you.

"I have something special for you today." He spoke lightly.

You didn't say anything, you just looked down.

"What is it?." He bent down," Loth cat got your tongue?"

You let out a small "Please."

"Please what?" He said in a sing-song voice.

You puttered an answer. "No..." You swallowed, "No naughty time." 

He laughed, "You are quite entertaining."

He grabbed your upper arm and jerked you up. 

"Let us walk." He pulls you forward, you didn't fight him this time. Not like before where you would be throwing punches and aiming kicks towards his groin. You were too weak now and you knew you couldn't stop him even if you were as healthy as you once were. 

The two of you passed through the doorway. The outside smelled so much more sterile than that small room, presumably because you were so used to the smell of your own body odor and filth. 

"I'm sorry." You begged and stopped walking, "Please!"

"Keep moving. I don't have time for this." Tarkin yanked you forward harder than before. "Besides I think you will find this session more... interesting."

The way he said it screamed diabolical, he sounded like a stereotypical villain. You whimpered, "I'll never do it again, I swear."

"I know you'll never do it again." He stopped. A door whooshed open. "Not after I am done with you." He stepped behind you and roughly shoved you.

You stumbled into the familiarly scented room. It was the _Naughty Room_. Despite the scrubbing and disinfecting the droids probably did in this room, it still smelled like burnt skin and blood to you.

The door whooshed closed.

"I figured we should get to know each other better." He spoke fiddling with something metal, most likely a tool for torment. He crossed the room. "You know... get a tad bit closer."

He was being rather talkative. You couldn't tell if this was good or bad. Maybe he actually wished to know more info about your home, perhaps to use to give to the empire so it can be captured. 'Whatever,' you thought, 'it doesn't matter if I tell him anything anyways.' It was so far away and amongst so many other worlds that you couldn't give him anything useful. 

"What do you mean?"

"I need you to disrobe."

"W-What?" You put your finger in your ear to reposition the translator. You didn't hear him right. He got closer, he was looking down at you once again

"I need you to _disrobe_." He repeated. 

"Oh my God." You shook your head. "What? No!"

"I do not think you are in any position to be telling me no." He grabbed your chin lightly and lifted it up." Besides, we cannot get, well more intimate with these rags on. Now, undress." He dragged a thumb across your cheek.

You pushed him away and took three steps back."You're sick man!" You said through clenched teeth. 

"Do not touch me!" His palm collided with your face, your head snapped sideways and your cheek burned. "Take your clothing off!" He grabbed the shoulder of your tank top and began pulling upwards. It caught on your underarm and you pulled away from him, the seams of the arm hole breaking loudly. Grabbing onto his wrist you squeezed your nails into the flesh and pulled his hand from your shirt. He hissed in pain and yanked his arm away. 

In a quick stroke of genius the Grand Moff grabbed your nose and pulled down. You yelped and wrapped your hands around his hand. 

"Ow! Okay... okay. I'll do it." Your hands shook, you couldn't imagine how fucked up your nose was now.

"You had better, I am losing my patience." He let go.

You stood up straight and turned away from him. You took the disgusting stretched-out shirt off and dropped it beside you. You hooked your thumbs inside the shorts you wore. You breathed in deeply.

"Get on with it." The old man barked.

Exhaling, you dropped your trousers and kicked them aside. You were bare besides your undershorts. 

Your face flushed.

"Do I keep these on?" You growled, clenching your fists.

"That's fine." He grabbed your shoulder and led you to a raised metal surface. He patted it. "Crawl on top."

You placed your hands on the cold metal and tried lifting yourself only for your arms to buckle and your chest to hit the table. You huffed and reached your arm to grabbed the other edge of the surface. Pulling yourself across, you threw a leg up and pushed the rest of your body on top. Your hand brushed against something bolted into the surface. Upon feeling it more intently, you realized it was an open cuff. 'Shit.'

"Now, if you will, lay down." He spoke softly, running a finger against your jawline.

You swatted his hand, "Fuck off." Your head was buzzing as you laid down. You kept hoping for the best, hoping your translator had misused the word 'intimate'.

"Language." He stated firmly. With that he grabbed your wrist and placed it in the restraint and did the same with your other wrist as well as your ankles.

You knew he was sick, however you never took him as the sexual type. All you knew is that if this was going the way you thought it was going, you were fighting all the way through, but perhaps this wasn't the case.

"What's the plan Tarkin?" You almost spat.

He gave a small laugh and traced his finger from your solar plexus to the hem of your undershorts. "I'm going inside you."

You flung your head forward, "Fuck. You. You sick fuck!" 

He shoved your head back down. 

"Lan-guage!" He overannunciated the word. A restraint closed around your forehead, keeping it down.

You twisted your shoulders trying to find a weakness in any of the restraints. Nothing budges. 

"Be still for one moment." Again, he speaks softly and presses your chest down. You struggle to breathe deeply with the pressure. You feel the same route from the hem of your underwear to your solar plexus being dotted with a marker.

"What're you doing?" You wheeze.

"Marking the incision site." He removed his hand from your chest. You heard a click and suddenly your body was hit with a warmth from above, an overhead light most likely.

"What?!" Your pulse skyrocketed at his words. Maybe this wasn't going where you thought. 

"Med droid." Tarkin spoke. A droid stepped forward, you hadn't had any idea they were there. 

"Yessir." A feminine mechanical voice answered.

"The patient needs an IV, go ahead and set up a saline drip while you are at it." 

"Shall I administer anxiolytics?"

"No, not necessary."

The droid grabbed your left arm, you yanked it away as far as you could, which was only one or two centimeters. "W-What's happening?" 

"Please stay still, it will only be a small pinch." The droid said. 

It grabbed your arm again and succeeded in finding a vein and putting the IV in.

Tarkin rolled a tray with a variety of scalpels and surgical knives toward the table.

"Tarkin, answer me dammit!" You yelled. 

"I already told you what I am doing, you should really listen better." He said nonchalantly. "I am going to get inside you. Povidone-Iodine please. Thank you."

"You're cutting me open!" You whispered in disbelief, stunned.

He smeared a strong scented gel all over your abdomen. 

"Are you ready to start?" He asked.

"No!" You shouted in an obvious tone.

"I was not asking _you_." He remarked snidely. "It does not matter if you are ready." He ended with a light tone.

"It appears the patient is not consenting. Patient, would you like to discontinue your procedure?" The droid asked.

"Yes! Dear God yes!" You said, smiling a little, thinking you had found a sliver of hope.

"Procedure stopped."

You sighed with relief.

"Override. Continue." The Grand Moff rolled his eyes.

"Okay, proceeding." The med droid replied.

Your eyes behind your blindfold widened. "Why are you cutting me open? What're you even gonna do?!" Your words flew out of your mouth.

"You will see." He snickered, "Oh wait, you can't. Droid, knife 5."

Your heart was hammering in your chest.

"Should I administer sedatives first?" 

"No, the patient is allergic. No anesthetics either." Tarkin answered.

"No anesthetics? The patient will experience extreme pain from this procedure if no sedatives or anesthetics are administered. Is the patient okay with this?"

"No! D-Do not listen to him! I'm not allergic to either of those things! I am NOT okay with this. Administer sedatives." You were sweating bullets.

"Administering sed-" 

"Override. Do not administer sedatives or anesthetics." The old man cut off the droid. He scoffed and flicked your nose. You hissed in pain. "Do not try to command my droid, I do not have time for this." He whispered, annoyed by you.

"Droid, the knife please."

"Yessir." You heard its servos whirl as it passed him the knife.

You felt the tip of the blade at the place where the middle of your rib cage ends.

"I'm b-begging you Tarkin, don't do this." Your voice trembled.

"Please stay still, the first cut is always the hardest dear." He said sweetly.

'Dear?' You thought.

The blade pierced your soft flesh. 

You inhaled sharply. The blade sliced down your torso.

You screamed. It was almost animal-like. Your chest heaved. You flailed your knees as far as the restraints allowed. 

"Hold the patients legs down. They will tire themselves out soon enough." He said calmly.

He reached the end of his cut. It was painful, but maybe not as bad as you thought it would be.

"Ah, the cut only reached halfway through the dermis." He sighed. "I may need to do one or two more cuts."

He started again, from the top, pushing the blade much harder. Among the blood pounding in your ears and your own wails, you sensed that the knife punctured a layer of some type.

"Got it."

Even with the droid bearing its weight on your legs, you thrusted your hips forward trying to get the man off of you.

Things that shouldn't be touched were being touched. Things that should never be exposed to the open air were being exposed.

"Droid, get the clamps ready." Tarkin ordered.

As soon as the droid let go of your legs you felt a familiar surge of emotions and energy. Somehow you could 'see' the droid.

You bellowed.

The droid was thrown back about half a meter or so and clattered to the ground.

You passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i just found this group called 'glass animals' listen 2 their songs called "pork soda" and "life itself" 
> 
> has nothing 2 do with the story, is just really güd songs
> 
> they the shit
> 
> really mak me wish i cood smoke some weed, but u no, drug tests
> 
> fuuuuuk i h8 bein sober


	10. Delicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stop please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super fucked up. If your squeamish look away
> 
> I look good today btw
> 
> Too hawt  
> Hawt dayum

The merciful nothingness didn't last long.

Your chest jolted forward and you screamed, a needle leaving your arm. You had no idea what was happening, where you were. Your heart pounded harder than it ever has. It felt like you were running a marathon. You slammed your body back down, clenching and unclenching your hands. You pulled your wrists trying to break free, the metal creaking but never actually budging. Your head spun. There was burning straight down your abdomen.

You screamed again, "What's happening??"

"Calm down, you are going to burst a vein." 

The voice registered. You remembered what happened last time you were conscious. "T-Tarkin?"

Tarkin pat rags with antiseptic on the open area. "Yes dear?"

Despite the pain it caused you, your nose scrunched up at this. "Ugh." Your body twitched uncontrollably with all the adrenaline that coursed through it. You searched for words in the sludge that was your mind. "A-Are you almost d-done?" You tried pushing the fact that you were still opened up out of your head.

"Well aren't you eager?" He ran a hand through your dirty hair. "You did not pass out for that long, only a few seconds actually. I woke you up with a shot of epinephrine after I helped my droid up, you know, the one you threw."

'Oh God.' You had used the force again. "I swear I didn't mean it Tar-"

"Hush, It's okay." He interrupted you in a delicate tone. "Just do not use it on me, or break anything. My words from yesterday still stand."

You were silent. He usually got like this during naughty time. More forgiving and gently spoken despite the horrible atrocities he commits. The 'dear' thing was new and creeped you out however that was a beast for another day.

"Earlier you asked me why I was cutting you open-Large retractor, thank you." You felt cold metal slip inside the incision right above your navel. "Have you heard the expression 'it is the beauty on the inside that is the most beautiful'?"

You shivered, "Something like that."

It connected. You grimaced and whispered. "You're so fu-" you caught yourself,"messed up."

"The first time is the scariest is it not? I will be gentle."

He began opening up the wound, slowly.

You twisted your body and face up and and cried out. 

"Administer muscle relaxants." Tarkin said, still opening you up.

Hearing this made a wave of relief flow over you. He was allowing you to have some sort of medication.

"Which one sir?"

"Vecuronium bromide, inject it into the IV." He said. 

"Yessir."

The pain from your abdomen suddenly intensified. The main areas it radiated from was your solar plexus and your hip line. The skin was tearing further as the edges of the incision were pulled apart from each other. Your fingernails dug into your palm and your toes pointed. 

A sob was torn from your mouth.

"STOP PLEASE OHMYGOD PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU NO MORE MERCY MERCY I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE IT HURTS SO MUCH PLEASE _PLEASE_ " A slew of other babbled words left your pitiful form. It was the worst pain you had ever felt in your life, no doubt.

"Droid! The muscle relaxants!" The man shouted.

"Administering Vecuronium bromide." The med droid said calmly.

You felt your body slack a little. You quieted down. Your screams turned to loud murmurs. You breathed in deeply, trying to ease yourself into the altered state of mind that you thought awaited you.

You counted backwards from 10, remembering the surgeons telling you to do that on Earth.

10

9

8

Your hands unclenched and your calf muscles relaxed.

7

6

Your chests' rise and fall stabilized.

5

4

3

2

You exhaled.

1

...

Nothing.

'That's strange.' You thought. "Maybe the medicine is different out here." 

You began counting backwards from 10 again.

'10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.'

Still nothing. 

Your abdomen continued to throb.

"It is almost all the way open, dear. Just a bit more to go." You heard him say faintly.

You started opening your mouth to speak. It was so hard to move. It's like your jaw wasn't listening to your brain. But you struggled the words "Meds not working." out.

Tarkin stopped the dilation of the incision. "Close your right hand." 

You tried closing your right hand. You could barely lift a finger. You were both terrified and amazed.

The Grand Moff hummed in delight. "It appears the medication is doing exactly as intended."

"F-Fall asleep?" You questioned, your tongue heavy.

"Oh no, I want you to be awake. We can't really bond if you are passed out now can we?" He grabbed the retractor, continuing to pry you apart. "I want you to feel everything."

You could now truly feel your insides being bared for his viewing pleasure. The pain was incredible and your mind reeled, you should be vomiting now but your body stopped responding to whatever you wanted it to do. "You're... tryna kill mm..." The sentence trailed off, with your mouth partially open. You found that you couldn't even make a sound anymore. 

"It is a shame that I had to give you that relaxant, I did enjoy hearing your screams." You heard a click and with it the retractor stopped expanding. "There. Droid, clamps."

"Yessir." They placed cold metal clamps on you and removed the retractor.

You assumed you were done being opened. Breathing became harder. Your heart raced faster, you swear you were going to go into cardiac arrest. You pushed a breath out only to find that you couldn't breathe back in. Panic drenched your brain, you were suffocating and paralyzed, you wondered if this was his actual plan to end you. It seemed like a fairly awful way to die.

You heard him take a step back. 

"Hmm." He walked to the other side of the table, observing his work thus far. He bent over and reached out a finger, outlining the wound.

"You are absolutely beautiful. Magnificent even." He said airily, as if taken aback by the sight. 

The man glazed the finger over your large intestines. He murmured, "Oh yes..."

If your head didn't feel like it was vibrating like a phone in a fourteen member group text, you probably would've been even more horrified. However you were too busy almost blacking out.

"Sir." The droid chimed in. "It appears the patient is experiencing difficulty in breathing as a result of the muscle relaxers."

He was snapped out of his trance briefly. "Start up the ventilator. Insert an endotracheal tube via the nasal passageway."

A machine clicked on and purred.

"May I instead use the oral passageway? The nasal passageways appear to be severely compromised at the moment."

"Go ahead." He walked beside the droid and the tray of instruments.

Cold fingers slipped past your lips, opening your mouth. The bot compressed your tongue down. A plastic tube was pushed inside your mouth. You felt it go in your throat. Luckily, you were barely hanging on to consciousness while this was happening so when it thrust past your larynx into your trachea you didn't really notice.

You breathed in desperately, as the cool oxygen filled your burning lungs. 

As you breathed more, you became more aware of how uncomfortable you were. Everything felt so wrong. It felt as if you should be choking yet there you lay with a blank expression on your face.

You became fully tuned into your surroundings after half a minute or so. Your extremities tingled from the lack of oxygen they had been receiving. Like your hands and feet had fallen asleep.

"Can you breathe now dear?" He laid a hand on your bosom. Even though it was much less pronounced than your usual heaving chest, he still picked up on it. "Delightful. We can start."

Tarkin turned to the droid and pressed a button on its back.

"Sir, are you sure you want to shut me down? The procedure has yet to be completed." The droid sounded a bit worried.

"I will take it from here. Thank you."

The bot powered down.

You heard the snap of elastic as Tarkin gloved his hands.

He caressed your cheek. "We are alone now." He dragged his hand from your face down your neck and to your chest. It went further down. The hand reached the opening. Without warning he quickly slipped his fingers in between the crevices of your organs.

The man shivered and let out a low moan. Unbeknownst to you, he grew hard.

You cringed inwardly. While the knife and retractor had sent white hot shocks of pain through your body. This, this was like a goddamn horror movie. 

You couldn't cry out physically in fact, tears wouldn't even form in your eyes. You were but an audience member to this session. There was no fighting back.

He wriggled his fingers inside of you, kneading your insides softly. Dare you say that despite the obvious fact that he was muddling around in your guts, the movements felt as if he was trying to be sensual. Well more than he usually was during these sessions. He definitely had some sort of sick pain fetish, you learned that long ago. He seemed to be getting more comfortable with you though. The touches lingering longer, his saccharine tone, and now 'dear'.

He ground his hips against the table. "You are so tight. Everything is just so nestled in and packed down."

He got a firm grip of a tangle of your small intestines and pulled up.

You were going to die here. Maybe not in this moment. Maybe not this week. Maybe not this year. He was going to keep you alive to torture. It seemed like the absolute truth. You were ripping your head apart. You were accepting your fate but the horror was still fresh. Even though you knew you would be here until you kicked the bucket, you still wish you could fight or at least scream. He had you pinned in every sense. No moving, no seeing, no screaming.

_The Force._

Your friends voice rang in your ears.

_Not on him, the Ghost, Sabine, Kallus._

'That's the only thing I can do.' You thought to yourself. 'The only way I can fight back.'

He pulled harder. " _Ah_ that is better." It's sounded almost like a mewl of pleasure.

Kallus' smiling mug flashed across your mind. You focused all your being onto that one thought of him. You knew you should probably try using the force to contact another person who was force sensitive like Kanan Jarrus or Ezra Bridger but you could only find the ISB agent in your thoughts.

Not quite sure how to 'contact' him, your thoughts became like a prayer towards him. You begged him to feel your pain. You told him you wanted to see him. You screamed to him you were alive.

A mantra formed in your head. 

'I am alive.' It repeated over and over. Images of Kallus played like a slideshow in your head. 

You felt a warmth on your intestines that Tarkin had in his hand. It came in waves, like breathing. The warmth became more intense. His tongue slid all over the handful then it stopped.

"You taste delicious."

'What the goddamn mother of fuck.' You couldn't believe what you just heard.

He was tasting you.

Your mantra ran faster.

'I am alive I am alive I am alive'

He set your intestines aside. Grabbing a scalpel, he whispered. "Would you like a try?"

'I am alive I am alive I am alive I am alive I am alive'

He cut into the fleshy tube, blood and digested food spilling out. It was strange. First of all, how it didn't hurt so much. It did hurt, but it was much more bearable than him cutting into your skin. Second of all, even though you knew the intestines were outside of your body the gnawing pain felt like it originated from your lower abdomen.

His breathing became slightly erratic, trying to hold back moans. He stepped away from the edge he was grinding on so he could focus on the procedure for the moment.

He made another cut, taking a .25 meter section from the organ. He set the scalpel down and grabbed the needle and thread. Quickly, he began to stitch together the two ends. 

When he finished stitching, he grabbed the sliver of flesh and opened a container with ice in it and placed it in there.

Grabbing the bowels, he threw them haphazardly back to where they came from. He stuck a filthy gloved finger in the side of your mouth, pushing the breathing tube to the side. It was metallic and gooey. 

"Decadent, isn't it?" He took the finger out. 

'I am alive I am alive I am alive'

"Guess what?" Tarkin grinned. "We are done." He removed the clamps holding you open.

The man stripped his gloves and turned the droid back on.

"Droid, stitch them back up. I am going to reverse the paralysis." He spoke in an official tone.

"Are you sure? The patient may move around during the suturing."

"Hand me the Atropine." He ordered. "They will be too tired out to fight back."

"Yessir." The robot handed him the needle. 

He injected the chemical into the IV bag.

Seconds pass, you close your hand. As soon as you realize you could move you gagged around the tube. You pulled at your restraints, but not nearly as violently than before you were paralyzed. Tarkin ripped the tube from your throat. 

The first sound you made was a cry. Tears formed in your eyes and wouldn't stop. They soaked your blindfold.

The old man leaned over you, he cradled the side of your face in one hand. "Let it out."

You had no idea what to say. You didn't even know what he expected you to say. 'Ow, I'm in pain.'? 'What the fuck?'? 'I'm going to kill you?'?

"I am going to commence stitching, is this okay?"

"Proceed." He said, still hovering over you.

The machine started at the bottom of the incision, pulling your undershorts down a bit as the tearing had resulted in the bottom of the cut being lower than original. Inserting the needle in the skin slowly and weaving it underneath the opposite flap of skin and pushing it through upwards.

You screamed, "I am alive!"

Another suture, Tarkin still caressing your cheek.

You sucked in a breath and hissed.

The bot reached a fairly fast pace in their stitching.

You raised your chest and clenched your face and let out a groan. You opened your mouth to scream your mantra once more, however his lips caught yours before you could.

You froze and closed your mouth.

He tilted his head, sinking deeper into the kiss. With his free hand he palmed his member from outside his uniform.

The droid stopped," Sir... what are you doing?" They sounded genuinely confused.

He lifted his head and shot a poisonous glare towards it. "Minding my own business, as you should be. Keep sewing." He spat.

The droid was taken aback. Normally it's master was fairly respectful towards them. "Yessir, of course."

Tarkin moved his hand from your cheek to the top of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair. He put his lips on your neck and sucked on the skin.

The med bot resumed sewing you together. 

The needle went through your navel and you yelped. Tarkin moaned in your ear. Your whole body shook, the only thing that was on your mind was getting over with this and going to sleep. 

He went for your mouth again. His tongue ran over your lips, asking for entrance. You pressed them into a tight thin line. 

He growled and grabbed your nose and crushed it between his thumb and index finger. You gasped, the man immediately shoved his tongue against yours as he let go of the broken cartilage. He still had that metallic, gooey taste from your innards.

He rutted against his hand harder. It was getting more difficult for him to hold in his keens and sighs. With every whimper or cry you made from pain it drove him closer to climax. Already he was so close to the edge and he didn't have it in him to pace himself.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours, breathing heavily in your face. His sweat and yours mingling. He shoved his bare hand into the opening that the droid had yet to suture together. You whelped from the force he put on your stomach.

"NnnngAH!" He groaned and shook, hips thrusting forward slightly as he rode the waves of pleasure that flowed through him.

The droid stopped.

The room was silent for a solid minute.

The only thing to hear was Tarkin gasping for breath.

Finally he put his hands on the table and pushed his chest up. He sighed. "Droid, I will be in my quarters. You know what to do?"

"Y-yessir." The droid answered.

"Good." He picked up the container with ice in it. "Until next time my dear." No real emotion in his voice.

And with that he bent over to kiss your forehead, he not only left the room but also you and the droid speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DDDDD I TOLD U HE FUCKS U UP BOIIII
> 
> anyways I saw get out 
> 
> THAT SHITE WAS SO FUUCKIM GOOOOOD
> 
>  
> 
> I've been drinking a lot of tea
> 
> Lately being sober has been more bearable


	11. Something I ate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How's Kallus doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look an actual chapter
> 
> Guess what I got high last weekend after 4 and a half months of sobriety 
> 
> And guess what?
> 
> I had to do a drug test yesterday  
> I refused and told them I wouldn't pass
> 
> Guess I'm not going to college or the doctors anymore
> 
> Oh yeah today during my commute this morning I had to throw my emergency lights on and open my car door and I puked hardcore like it came out of my nose, some people stop by and asked if I was okay and I said yeah then blew chunks right in front of them.

Walking into Thrawns' office he knew something felt off. He didn't feel too well, like some type of illness was about to strike him. 

Metal smashing against metal rang throughout the Admirals office. Kallus turned to the side to see the Chiss sparring with his Sentry droids. He couldn't help but stop and stare. His red eyes fierce and his muscles rippling underneath his skin. The man was a true homage to art, not only surrounding himself in it but being a masterpiece himself.

He glanced towards him. Kallus quickly looked away and continued forward. Governor Pryce and Lieutenant Lyste were already there for their weekly meeting where they narrowed the planets on which the rebel base could be.

He sat down, Lyste giving him a small smile. Kallus hesitatingly returning the gesture. His stomach turning.

He kept running his plan to escape the empire through his head. 

It was rough, worse than rough. 

All he had so far was to beg the rebellion to send an emergency rescue. There was no guarantee that he could even get that. Why, not even 6B5's imminent death persuaded them to send a team.

He may have to even lie to see him as worthy of rescue. A new weapon? A plan the Empire has? He knew the rebellion would be angry when realizing the façade of whatever Kallus decides to make up was only to save his own skin.

"Hello." The dark velvet voice reached the agents ears. He turn towards Thrawn, the Chiss buttoned up his white uniform.

All three stood up upon the Grand Admirals entrance, "Sir."

"Thank you all for waiting so patiently." He took his place around the holo-display.

A flash of pain radiated from Kallus' abdomen. He let out a grunt and hunched over, pushing his hands into his stomach.

"Kallus?" Lyste stepped towards him and bent over. "What's wrong?"

6B5 flashed across his mind, their terrified face when he visited them in the holding cell. He pushed the thought out per usual. But this one stuck longer and, well harder than normal if that made any sense. Like the thought was sticky and whatever else he tried to think of 6B5 simply bled into it. 

Growling, the thoughts sharpened. How this person whom he hardly knew anything about broke down sobbing in his presence. The way they tensed up when he folded them in his arms. The hopelessness in their eyes as they spotted him on top the balcony. How they looked forsaken even in death.

"Kallus!" Lyste repeated more urgently this time, the Governor also looking slightly worried.

The voices were something to latch onto, something real. He focused on them with all his remaining strength. The vivid images began ebbing away.

As the thoughts left so did the pain.

"I-I'm alright." The agent said almost breathlessly. He slowly forced himself upright.

"Are you sure Agent Kallus?" Thrawn rose an eyebrow.

"Ah-Yes. It's just... just something I ate." He lied, decrescendoing. "Probably contaminated food or something. Sorry."

It was getting worse, the memory attacks would only cause minor aches usually but for some reason it was intensifying. Rather than it being a disturbing annoyance, this had its full grip on him which was hard to shake.

"That is incredibly unsanitary! If you have eaten it than there's a good chance that many on the ship have as well." Pryce pulled out a datapad," I'll have to alert the sustenance team after this meeting to check their rations."

The room was awkwardly silent until Thrawn suggested maybe Kallus sat down for this meeting. The agent complied. In all truthfulness he was scared for the next attack. The last one was awful and they were only getting stronger.

The Admiral began updating the team on the latest he has heard from the rebellion: Transportation, Captures, etc. Although there was not much new. 

This made his hopes for escape even slimmer. The rebellion really must've been in tribulation. He was really going to have to make up a good excuse to ditch ship so fast.

However, the lack of news was also good, Thrawn was no where near finding the rebel base planet that wasn't even on his map.

He sunk slightly into his seat allowing his tired body to relax. His mind drifted.

Kallus was done. He wanted to stop acting like he cared about the success of the Empire. He wanted to in a sense go home, however this was his only home. He had invested his whole life into this one cause up until a few months ago. This whole double agent thing had been easy to be enthusiastic about at first, quite a turning point in his life. But as time went on he realized how lonely the job was. Until 6B5 found him out.

He pushed it out before it could grasp him again.

"Agent Kallus are you listening?" The Admiral questioned sternly.

The man jumped, "Yessir, my apologies." He sat up straight.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" The lieutenant asked a tad anxiously putting a hand on his shoulder.

The man began, "I assure y-"

Kallus shouted. He stood up only to fall forward on his hands and knees, his forehead touching the ground. 

He heard them. He heard 6B5

The three gathered around him hurriedly. 

"Oh my stars, Kallus! Do you need to go to the medical unit?" Governor Pryce asked bending on one knee.

He couldn't answer her, he couldn't even hear her. 

He couldn't see.

He heard 6B5 screaming. 

He bellowed along. He was being split down the middle. A knife was cutting into him. Banging his fist to the ground Kallus felt tears being ripped from his eyes.

Seemingly turning to liquid, his innards lurched and whatever contents were inside spilled out on the floor.

All jumped back.

"Ugh." Thrawn muttered.

The agent pushed himself away from the mess and curled up in a tight fetal position on his side gripping his stomach. 

"Kallus! Can you hear us?" Lyste got to his knees and lightly smacked the mans damp cheek with the back of his hand.

He bit his lip and whimpered. Suddenly he exhaled, his body falling limp.

It was silent for a few moments. The room was startled and at a loss for words.

Thrawn cleared his throat. Lyste stood up and looked to Pryce,"I-I'm going to call for medical help." 

He ran towards an intercom on the Admirals desk. 

He pressed a button. "We need an emergency med team at Thrawns' office ASAP, we have an agent who has passed out for unknown reasons and is showing distressing symptoms."

"Copy that." The intercom buzzed.

Just as he had unexpectedly lost consciousness, his eyes flew open and rolled to the back of his head. 

The ISB agent seized on the ground uncontrollably. Foam trickled out of his mouth as he gasped and gagged.

"Karabast." The lieutenant pressed the button again. "Hurry!"

The twitching subsided after about ten minutes. By then the med team arrived and rolled him to the emergency unit.

Kallus remained in an unresponsive state for two more hours before awakening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was fuckin worth it I got super fucked up and i haven't felt that good in a long time
> 
> I'm starting hormone treatments in a few days
> 
> At least I'm not my brother who is in alternative school for stabbing a dog


	12. April Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pay attention, chapter is the pinnicle of the story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp you guys  
> It's been fun writing this  
> I now give you the last chapter

You woke up, cold sweat. The door sliding open. You weakly rose your head. The droid gently replaced the tepid wet towel on your forehead with another chilled one. It then shuffled away to deal with its other responsibilities.

"How is my dear?" The voice cooed.

In your medically induced stupor his voice sounded some what different, more resonant, warm and distinctly Lancastrian. Nevertheless, his dictation remained the same. 

Whatever that droid had given you, you could sure use more.

You laid your head back down and murmured,"Don't call me that." You sighed," It's gross."

You were feeling brave, it would be awhile until the next _naughty time_ plus he had to be careful with you right now or he would lose his little torture toy to septic shock or another heart attack.

He fiddled around in one of the drawers in the room.

"Do not be that way." He said nonchalantly.

"What way? Normal?" You coughed, which made you grunt in pain.

He sighed like he was trying to get something across to you. He inhaled sharply,"We're no strangers to love."

"What?" You rasped," What're you talking about?"

He walked over to the med droid to get a report on last nights (you assumed that it had been night) health stats.

"You know the rules, and so do I." He read over the data on the digital pad.

"Rules of what?" You knitted your eyebrows together. "What rules?"

"Sir last night I took care of the surgical incisions, however it seems the top of the incision has become infected." The droid sounded slightly suspicious.

"A full commitment is what I'm thinking of."

You heard his boots clack towards you, his words scaring you. You had gotten a deviant vibe from him when it came to relationships (romantic, sexual or otherwise), but is he wanting you to be his like secret spouse or something? 

You swallowed, your throat sore from yesterday's events. 'What the hell.' 

He stopped beside the surgery table, you held your breath in anticipation.

"You wouldn't get this from any other guy."

"G-get what?" You questioned him quietly.

His hands reached behind your head. "I just want to tell you how I'm feeling."

You hadn't an idea what he was up to until you heard the click of the lock that held your blindfold together. "Gotta make you understand."

You gasped as he removed it.

It was hard to see anything at first, just the blinding light above you and shadows of objects. You squinted as something eclipsed the light.

It took a second to realized what was in front of your face, but once you did a smile broke across your lips.

"Never gonna give you up!" The man sang.

And that man that sang was not in fact Grand Moff Tarkin but none other than the young 80's pop singer sensation Rick Astley who won the Brit Award for British Single in 1988 and the MTV Europe Music Award for Best Act Ever in 2008, along with his sexy red hair.

The man undid your feet restraints,"Never gonna let you down!" 

Your foot began tapping and your head nodded with the beat. 

He ripped the wrist restraints off with his bare hands," Never gonna run around and desert you!"

Grabbing your hand gently he pulled you off the table and with his other hand he cupped your face, touching his forehead to yours. "Never gonna make you cry!" 

Rick pulled his hand away from your face and stood up straight,"Never gonna say goodbye!" He pulled the IV out of your arm, you hissed painfully but he quickly pressed you into his chest with both of his arms and stroked your hair.

"Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"

So much heat radiated from the deitys' body that even through his clothes he felt like a heating pad.

"We've known each other for so long." He slowly pulled out of the embrace. The singer grabbed your left hand and put his other hand on your waist, you put your right arm on his shoulder, he stepped in a waltz-like fashion. You followed his steps a bit clumsily but managed. "Your hearts been aching but-" He twirled you to the position where you both faced the same direction as he cradled your arms in his and the both of you side stepped to the rhythm,"-you're too shy to say it!"

"Inside we both know what's been going on." He spun you back around to face him. He put his hand on your naked stomach, you looked down and the scars faded until they were completely gone. Your face flushed with happiness. He stepped back and put his hands on his hips to admire his work. "We know the game and we're gonna play it." 

He then grabbed his own chin like he was missing something," And if you ask me how I'm feeling-" he stepped forward and dug his fingers into the translation collar and tore it in half. "-don't tell me you're too blind to see." He gave you a dashing smile.

Out of nothing a disco ball materialized in the stars hand. Tossing it towards the robot. They caught it and clearly caught the drift. Their doctors lights brightened and it spun the ball around filling the drear chamber with tiny speckles.

"Never gonna give you up!" The man dug through the drawers and cabinets looking for something. "Never gonna let you down!" He found a folded fabric and yanked it out of a cabinet, making several other things fall out. "Never gonna run around and desert you!"

He began unfolding the fabric. "Never gonna make you cry!" It appeared to be a hospital gown. "Never gonna say goodbye!" You suddenly became aware that you were almost completely nude. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you looked down embarrassedly. 

He closed the distance between the two of you and grabbed your chin to lift it up. "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"

He held the gown in front of you. You took the hint and put your arms through the arm holes. "Never gonna give you up!" The celebrity walked behind you and tied up the gown. "Never gonna let you down!" He noticed the translator still in your ear. He yanked it out, throwing it to the ground he smashed it with a stomp. "Never gonna run around and desert you!"

He backed up a step and began taking off his black dress jacket. "Never gonna make you cry!" When it was off he draped it around your shoulders. "Never gonna say goodbye!" You put the jacket on, it kind of swallowed you but it did its job. He shot you a pleased look and sang, "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."

He was silent. You supposed it was your turn to talk.

You were stunned.

"Wow, Rick I guess you really never gave me up." You grinned slightly.

You grabbed his hand,"Thank you. Thank you so-"

"Never gonna give! Never gonna give!" He interrupted.

You cocked an eyebrow at him and continued,"-so mu-"

"Never gonna give! Never gonna give!" He interrupted once more.

'Well I guess it's not my turn anymore.' You thought and laughed out loud.

He picked you up bridal style. "We've known each other for so long." He swung around towards the door which had been left open. "Your hearts been aching but you're too shy to say it." He walked pass the threshold. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw that Tarkin was waiting around the corner, blaster in hand. "Inside we both know what's been going on."

The Grand Moff aimed and you threw your arms in front of your face. The old man growled something but you couldn't understand because you no longer had the translator. "We know the game and we're gonna play it."

You heard the blaster fire and Rick turned around. You flinched and closed your eyes, however no pain ever came, Rick didn't even miss a beat. He was invincible, no mere mortal could harm him. As he slowly turned back to face Wilhuff he sang," I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling-" he started treading towards the trembling man. "-Gotta make you understand!"

He had Tarkin backed in the corner and he was begging. Even if you couldn't speak basic, you got the gist.

"Never gonna give you up!" Rick started with a roundhouse kick to the Grand Moffs' neck, his head hitting the metal wall. He slid down the wall. "Never gonna let you down!" The handsome man place his foot on the old mans groin. The man on the ground began rapidly shaking his head. "Never gonna run around and desert you!" You heard cracking as the mans' pelvis was crushed by the vengeful god. His screams almost harmonized with Ricks ethereal singing.

The man set you down behind him temporarily. "Never gonna make you cry!" He grabbed Tarkin by the neck with one hand and lifted him up against the wall. With the other it he forced it through the mans chest. "Never gonna say goodbye!" The younger mans fingers wrapped around Tarkins heart and ripped it out of his chest. Blood spurting everywhere the Moff let out one last yowl. Tarkin became silent. The being dropped the dead man and turned around to you, offering the still beating organ. You took it in your hands and blushed from the gesture. He smiled at you, "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."

He picked you up once more and you cradled the heart in your arms. "Never gonna give you up!" He wandered the halls of the small ship. There was no hurry, time was but another malleable object to the powerful divinity whose grasp you rested in. "Never gonna let you down!" The two of you came across the control room. "Never gonna run around and desert you!" The door slid open and he entered.

He placed you down in the copilot seat as he claimed the pilots seat.  
"Never gonna make you cry!" Astley set the coordinates for the Grand Admirals war ship. The man knew you had someone there to save. "Never gonna say goodbye." He flipped the switches and did a final systems check. "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!" He put the ship in hyperspace.

He looked at you and was silent. You had nothing to say. Everything was perfect. With Tarkin out of the way you would be able to rescue Kallus (even though the original plan was vice versa). And with Rick Paul Astley with you, the Rebellion was guaranteed to defeat the Empire. Your chest swelled with hope.

The heart beat in you hands. It was getting weaker. You knew what to do. 

You bit into the raw meat. It was wonderful. You were filled with determination as you swallowed the small amount of cardiac muscle, it was just enough. You handed Rick the rest. He unlatched his jaw from the rest of his skull and devoured it whole. You watched dreamily as you saw the large lump slowly slide down his gullet. He was so beautiful.

As his face returned to normal he began singing once more "Never gonna give you up!"

You heard a knock at the door. You were startled. The door opened but revealed nothing. You hopped out of your seat and hesitantly made your way over.

When you neared the entrance the droid stuck its head in around the corner.

"Ah!" You exhaled quickly.

"Never gonna let you down!" 

The droid tottered in and began speaking quietly in your language, "May I join?" It tapped its fingers against each other nervously, "I have your reflective sphere." 

"Never gonna run around and desert you!"

"Sure!" You whispered loudly, "Come on, let's sing together!" You grabbed the bot by its wrist and pulled it to the control panel.

The droid ejected the disco ball out of its chest and twirled it.

All three of you belted out the remaining lyrics of the saintly psalm.

"NEVER GONNA LET YOU CRY! NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE! NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY BITCHES**
> 
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> 
> Do not worry this isn't canon to my story.
> 
> There will be more my dudes
> 
> Peace my peoples


	13. Just Joking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Kallus is passed out in the medbay, he has some memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOH SHITTTTTT IM BACK YOU MOTHER FUCKERS
> 
> I BET YOU SHITS THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS 
> 
> WELL I DIDNT 
> 
> NO ONE IS SAFE.
> 
> anyways I had just stopped bc school was ending and I had a TON of SHIT to do
> 
> Any ways 
> 
> ENJOY THIS BORING CHAPTER

_Kallus sat down at the long bland dining table in the mess hall. His stomach churned and the sight of the even blander rations in front of him didn't help his nauseous or his mood._

_It's been like this ever since yesterday._

_He had outed himself as fulcrum to an underling who happened to also be a part of the rebellion._

_They came to his office a few hours later telling him that they knew. That was when the nausea started. The translated words on the data pad hit him in the gut as soon as he processed them._

_As they left his office they had said they would see him at dinner. However he hadn't seen them since._

_Not even when he checked sector 8 for the daily reports. The rest of the section had no idea where they were either._

_Kallus placed his head in his hands, looking down slightly. He sighed and closed his eyes._

_What if they weren't really with the Rebellion? What if they recognized the code phrase? What if the real reason they came to his office yesterday just to reassure him before he could silence them? What if right now they were speaking to the grand admiral?_

_All these what ifs overwhelmed him. He swallowed thickly._

_Someone sat next to him suddenly. He hadn't heard them so he reacted by jumping._

_'Drat.' he thought to himself. It wasn't who he was looking for, rather a brash and talkative blonde haired gal who co-managed the sector 15, the main reactor core itself. He hardly recalled her name, just her ISB number._

_He looked down at his plate and pushed his food around with his utensil._

_He watched the entrances to the dining hall, looking for that bulky translator that distinguishes 6B5 from everyone else._

_If the underling really was lying and his identity as fulcrum was in danger of being revealed. He would have to..._

_Well he didn't know what he would have to do._

_...Well actually, yes he did, he didn't want to think about it though._

_He did anyways._

_His mind began racing. He would have to get rid of them before they could blab. Dispose of them._

_'I would have to kill them.' He thought. The most discrete ways of making them "disappear" ran through his head, and to be honest they weren't all that discrete. Poisoning their meal, pushing them from the high platforms that were found all throughout the ship, hell, even straight up shooting them._

_He shivered._

_Yes, the sudden death of any member would be strange, however since the younger agent was fairly dispensable not much of an investigation would be launched. Death by pushing or shooting would be the far most risky, but if the situation called for it Kallus wouldn't hesitate. He could stage it as if he acted out of defense._

_" 'Ay, you okay 021?" Once again that blasted purple-eyed woman startled him._

_"Yes 537, I'm fine." The agent answered curtly. "Why?"_

_"I don't know comrade, you just seem off and I'm not sure, spacey." She smiled a bit at him, leaning her head on her hand while facing him._

_"I just... have a lot of things on my mind, it's nothing." He ended his sentence by bringing his cup of blue milk to his lips to take a drink._

_"I see..." she said her slight pity seemed sincere. "Well if it's any consolation, I see your little friend is coming over." She pointed._

_His first reaction was his head snapping in the direction of her finger. He felt a small amount of relief flow over him in seeing them._

_Quickly, the man was taken aback at her childish term for 6B5. The woman's inflection didn't hold any taunting tones and the blonde usually spoke with strange diction, that was just because of where she was from, but quite frankly it felt like a slap in the face._

_He guessed, technically, 6B5 was a friend. He admitted to himself he enjoyed spending time with them and he definitely knew they were fond of him, as shy as they could be sometimes. The term felt weird still._

_Friend. It just seems so juvenile. Acquaintance, he was more comfortable with that._

_"Just acquaintances really." He murmured as he sat his drink down. His eyes followed 6B5 as they placed their food tray next to his and sat down._

_"Hey man." 6B5 huffed as they put their hands on their back and stretched, a series of pops ringing out. They slumped over with their elbows supporting them on the table. They sighed and let their head hang._

_"Hello." Kallus noticed how uncharacteristically tired the underling was. "What's wrong?"_

_They snapped their head up and faced him, "Oh, nothing I've just been crazy busy today." They looked back down and picked up a utensil and took a bite of the rations._

_"When I checked at your station this morning, nobody knew where you were." His appetite slowly was coming back now that he knew where the fellow spy was. He took a bite._

_"I had already gone down to the sector 8 reactor core because a few sensors needed to be recalibrated. I told them that. No one there ever listens to me, I swear..." They trailed off with a tone of resentment for their colleagues, shoving another bite into their mouth._

_Kallus shot another question right after that. "Where were you at dinner yesterday?" Sounding irritated, but not meaning to._

_The subordinate put their fork down and looked up at their superior. They had stopped chewing, their cheeks bulging slightly. A confused look took ahold of their face._

_They covered their full mouth with their hand and muffled out, " I... Well...." They swallowed hard and put their hand down, tilting their head slightly. "Um, did I do something wrong?" A guilty feeling started pooling in the shorter agents' stomach._

_Kallus realized he was letting his paranoia get to him, allowing him to uncharacteristically show his qualms. His voice lightened,"No, that's not it. It's just-"_

_"He was worried about you." 537 interrupted with a smirk._

_6B5s' lips curled up into a smile._

_The mans' cheeks burned, he turned towards her. "Yes, but that's none of your business, now is it?" He faced his whole body towards his inferior," It's rude to eavesdrop."_

_"It's okay you know? We are your compatriots too, you're allowed to show some emotion to more than one person." The blonde elbowed him playfully._

_Still turned away, he was clenching his fists and closing his eyes waiting for the pest to leave him alone._

_"Jeez." She said hesitantly, " Fine, Kallus, be that way." She ceased talking to him and returned to her previous conversation with her normal set of companions._

_He opened his eyes and relaxed his hands, putting them back on the table._

_"Woooow, what are you like, my mom?" They joshed him, trying to lighten the intense atmosphere that surrounded him._

_"No, of course not. That's ridiculous." He muttered, not really getting why they would say that._

_"I'm just joking, sir."_

_He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth. " It's just, yesterday, you said you would meet me at dinner. And I never saw you after that."_

_6B5 seemed to be thicker than usual because they had a face that said, 'uh, ok?'_

_"I thought something happened to you." Kallus clarified. He purposely left out the part of him thinking that they maybe weren't a part of the rebellion._

_"Ohhhhh, oh my god I'm sorry, I wasn't meaning to avoid you dude, er, I mean sir." 6B5 apologized. "I didn't mean to make you worry."_

_Kallus exhaled. "It's fine."_

_There was silence between the two of them for a few minutes._

_Kallus, feeling slightly bad for giving the youth such a hard time. He noticed they hadn't touch their blue milk. "Are you not thirsty?" He attempted some small talk._

_"Eh, I am. I'm just not much of a blue milk person." They answered tiredly, picking up the container and tilting it around, watching the liquid move._

_It caught the man slightly off guard because it seemed that everybody, and he means everybody he's ever met had loved blue milk._

_"Why so?" He asked. The drink was a basic cornerstone in most human beings diet, along with meat and fruits._

_"I don't know, it's weird. I mean it's too sweet and milk is supposed to be white." They set the container down and stuck their tongue out._

_"White milk? Now that is weird."_

_"What?!" They exclaimed with a smile. "No it's not! It's normal."_

_"I've never heard of white milk in my life." A grin started making it's way across Kallus's face._

_"It's so creamy, not so watery like blue milk." They described it like looking through a memory._

_"I'd love to try it one day."_

_"Maybe you should stop by Earth one..." they tensed up and trailed off_

_"Is 'Earth' where you are from?" Kallus asked slowly._

_"Shh!" They threw up their index finger to their lips._

_Suddenly feeling in the wrong by saying something that he maybe shouldn't have (even if it was the underling who brought it up) he looked down at his food._

_Silence again. However this time it was 6B5 who broke it._

_"Do you want mine?" They offered him the blue milk._

_"Yes... thank you." He grabbed the glass and took a sip._

_"You know, I have a theory about Thrawn." They whispered somewhat seriously and immediately Kallus's attention was drawn._

_"What?" He whispered._

_"He..." They looked around suspiciously._

_"He what?" He got closer._

_"Don't get so close, it looks strange... look natural" The shorter agent looked down at their folded hands on the table._

_Kallus sat up straight and grabbed the blue milk and drank. He looked elsewhere._

_"Ok..." 6B5 began," Thrawn is not really a Chiss."_

_Still drinking, the agent knitted his eyebrows together, but continued listening._

_"He..." they stopped and swallowed, adding to the suspense in the air. "He just really fucking loves blue milk." They grinned slyly._

_Kallus was about to run his mouth about how that was ridiculous. But the shear thought of one of the beings he fears the most being so obsessed with the drink that it turned him blue caused him to chuckle. Which consequently caused him to choke._

_He slammed the drink down and began hitting his chest with his fist._

_"Oh my god, are you okay?!" They snorted._

_He only could wheeze out "Choking." Before going into another fit of coughs and grunts._

_People around the two looked at the scene, if one could call it that._

_6B5's face flushed when they saw that others were staring. "Hey are you going to be okay?" They reluctantly patted his back._

_With a final throat clear, Kallus wiped away reactionary tears with his finger. The inferior brought their hand away. "You need to tell someone when you are joking while they are eating or drinking. You are going to murder them by choking."_

_The people around them weren't phased much and returned to their own conversations._

_"Aw, you think I'm that funny?" They said coyly._

_"Oh please. Don't flatter yourself." Kallus picked up his napkin and dabbed it to his lips. "But yes, you had me going."_

_"Hmph." They lifted their eyebrows and stood up. "Well aren't you a tough crowd?" They picked up their tray._

_"Where are you going so soon?" The superior asked. They still had about 30 minutes of meal time._

_"I have some things in my section I need to take care of and I don't want to wait for tomorrow." They began walking away but looked over their shoulder, "See you tomorrow."_

_"You as well." He spoke rather softly._

_And with that he was left alone once more with his own paranoid mind._

_The whole conversation sort of left him with a buzzing feeling in his body and a faint smile on his face as an after effect of the camaraderie the two had shared._

_Kallus was honestly disturbed by his own thoughts. Not that how quickly he thought of how to get rid of them and how to get away with it, but the fact he turned against them so fast in his mind because of something that probably isn't a problem._

_He knew what he would do. He would ask in his next transmission about 6B5. Even if he knew it would narrow down the rebellions knowledge on who he was to what star destroyer he was on. But it would be worth it._

_If they weren't in fact with the rebellion, well he would have to kill them._

_He finished up eating, satisfied with his new plan._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYYYYTT LOOK AT THAT FUCKIN KALLUS MOTHER FUCKER CHOKIN!!!!  
> WHATA DUMB ASS
> 
> HE CHOKED ON THIS DICKKKKKJJK
> 
> GOD MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD
> 
> AHHHHHHHHH HES SO HOT


	14. Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay hears an awful chapter  
> Ugh it so bad it stank

Kallus shot up from the bed, drenched.

The dreams (or rather memories) he woke up from were quite pleasanter than his current situation and he hated parting from them.

He looked around to assess his surroundings. IV drip, bed with metal handles on the side, the sound of coughing and groans of agony, surrounded by curtains, the smell of over sanitation. 

Yes, this was the medical unit.

It was so cold, and yet he was soaking through the hospital gown.

He had no idea what happened. He had been feeling faint in the meeting with Thrawn, Pryce and Lyste. And now he was here.

His body ached, like he had worked out or fought. He tilted his head, popping his neck. A strange feeling radiated from his core, like it had been torn open and sewn back together. He touched the area and it was sensitive despite there being nothing unusual there.

Everything just hurt so much. And even though it was painful to do, he shivered.

He felt tears fall from his face, this was the most off setting. He had no reason to cry, and nothing was in his eye. He wiped them away with the back of his hand. However, they were quickly replaced.

Kallus wanted answers.

He called out. "Nurse."

Nothing.

"Nurse!" He raised his voice.

"Coming!" You heard a young man shout. 

The curtain the agent directly face slid to the side.

A tall dark skinned man stepped in, well rather sauntered in.

"It's good to see you're awake 021. You gave the whole unit quite the stir." He smiled.

"Oh really?" Kallus lifted an eyebrow.

"We haven't seen much action in the past few months." The nurse stepped closer to the monitoring machine. He pulled on the wires that were the leads on the agents chest to see with they were secure. 

"How do you feel?" He asked, he then noticed the tears that were falling down his face. "Whoa, hey, what's a handsome man like you crying for?" He bent his knees to come to face level with the agent.

Kallus' face went hot and he turned his head, "I'm sore everywhere, and it's so cold. As for the tears... I don't know they won't stop."

The nurse grabbed his own chin. "Hmm, I can help with the pain." He turned around and pulled out a drawer.

In his hand was a small jar, he opened and inserted a needle into. He slowly pulled the plunger, filling the syringe with a milky white substance.

Making his way over to the liquids bag, he injected it and smirked," This should make everything better." He pulled away once more. "As for the temperature I can't do much, except maybe give you a blanket."

"That would be much appreciated." Kallus said quietly.

The man retrieved him said blanket, it hardly seemed to help though. He consistently shivered and sweated. 

"Is that better?" He asked.

"No, not really. But thank you." Kallus looked up at the man.

"Aw, you'll feel better in a bit." He hummed and used his thumb to wipe away one of the patients' tears.

But as he was about to complain and smack away the offending hand, a warm feeling hit him. It must've been the medicine.

While tears continued falling on his hospital gown, his shivering ceased and his aches melted away. Soon enough he stopped perspiring so intensely.

He laid back in the bed and let the feeling take a hold of him.

He let a sigh out, but it turned into a chuckle.

"Oh? What's so funny?" The nurse said with a lopsided smile.

"Nothing." The agent could help but snicker. "I just feel really good."

The nurse seemed genuinely happy. "My favorite part of my job."

"Heh. By the way." Kallus started, "What happened to me? I can't seem to recall the events clearly."

"Well what _do_ you remember?" The man asked.

"I was in an important meeting, I wasn't feeling too well. That's it." He spoke nonchalantly.

"Well, you got those parts right. Apparently you fell on the floor, started screaming and had a seizure, after you passed out of course." The nurse spoke as if it were nothing.

This stirred the man on the bed, even in his relaxed state. "A seizure?!"

"Yeah I know, it was a pretty bad one too. Glad you woke up. Do you have a history of seizures?" The nurse asked.

"No, I've never had one before."

"That's strange. Are you currently on any medication?" The nurse began looking at Kallus's record which laid on the counter.

"No, none." Kallus used one of the blankets to dab the wetness from under his eyes.

"Huh." He walked over to an intercom. "021 is ready, send them in."

"What? Who?" Kallus quietly asked, not like he really cared right now, he just wanted to lay back and enjoy his thoughts.

"I think it's Grand Admiral Thrawn, Governor Pryce, and Lieutenant Lyste. Boy do you have an audience coming for you. I'm gonna go ahead and go, I'm sure they would like to be alone with you." The Nurse said smugly.

"Wait. No. They can not see me like this." Kallus blinked the tears away annoyingly. This man was irking him with his nonchalant attitude, even if he was higher than an AT-AT.

"And why is that?" The nurse acted oblivious.

Slowly Kallus slurred out. "IIIIII-I'm all messed up, and I can't stop the tears." 

"Ohhh, I see. You're right. They can't be here when you're like this." The nurse walked towards the counter where the open jar still was, needle in his hand. "You clearly still care too much."

He filled the syringe halfway full and crossed the room and stood beside the IV bag.

Kallus realized how weak the medication made him feel, well at least mentally. He would've gave more of a fight verbally or physically but it was too hard to really care. "Don't."

The nurse quickly injected the whitish substance. "Oops, too late." 

And just like that, he began sauntering out of the room, just like how he sauntered in.

"I'll tell the lead doctor about your poor performance..." The sentence came to a whisper.

The man turned around as he was about to close the curtains. "Go ahead soldier. My name is Heeto by the way." He winked and closed the curtains.

He sighed. He guessed the Admiral would see him like this. 'Whatever' he thought. 'It doesn't matter anyways.'

The second wave of medicine hit him. It was like he was wrapped in a warm blanket. Much like when he was but a babe. His mother hold him in her lap as they sat by the fire in the middle of their clay abode. A comforting time before this war. Before most of the young children of his home planet were required by the empire to enter training. 

He pushed those thoughts away. That was the past. It already happened. He just wanted to focus on now. 

Kallus turned on his side and pulled one of the blankets partially over his head, bringing up his knees closer to his chest.

He needed to leave, he knew that. But how? He was only getting worse and he hardly ever got a safe chance to contact the rebellion. He didn't want to end up like 6B5.

Oh B5. How he missed that soul. How they haunted his thoughts constantly. He knew some force-sensitive folk could communicate with the deceased. Kallus truly wondered if he was force-sensitive and was hearing his dear friend. A bitter-sweet thought. He doubted it however.

Even though he saw their dead body he allowed himself to indulge in fantasies that would never happen. 

Him and his underling, ridding themselves of their imperial titles and trading them for places in the rebellion. It wouldn't be so awkward to others that they had a friendship since they were now equals. He would make amends with the crew of the Ghost and see Garazeb once again. He would make a difference in the war, whether it be big or small. Maybe one day there would be peace, like when his mother held him. And 6B5 would be there. 

Maybe he would find someone. Someone to start a new life together. 

But only 6B5 came to mind, hell maybe even Garazeb. But the poor dead bastard wouldn't leave the mans mind. He didn't even learn their real name. It killed him. He was sure it was probably something exotic and interesting. It felt so morbid to even think about them like this, like they could have been lovers. They were gone. 

Tears fell on his pillow. He didn't feel sad though.

These were his fantasies. He didn't care if it was impossible. He delved deeper.

The two of them would... be together, on his home planet. Next to the lake he used to swim in with the other children in his village. They would tell each other about their childhoods and reminisce about the past. They would hold each other and whenever either of them thought of the awful shit that they've seen.

He would kiss them tenderly.

’ _A stupid thought._ ’ Where the hell was this sentimental romantizing comething from? He never thought of them like that before.

He heard the curtains open.

Kallus was ripped from his wishful thoughts and turned to lay on his back.

The trio was there. Lyste ran to his side, grabbing the metal handle on the side of the bed and leaned his wait on it.

"Oh my stars, Kallus are you okay?" Lyste said a little too loud for his liking.

"I'm fine." 

"A-are you crying?" The lieutenant asked.

"No. Well yes. The tears won't stop. I don't know why." Kallus bit his lip embarrassedly. He wipes once more at his eyes.

"I don't think this was because of something you ate Agent Kallus." Thrawns' velvety voice cut through the air.

"Excuse me, Sir?" He scratched his head not knowing what the Admiral meant.

The Governor stepped forward, "When we asked you why you were not feeling good, you had said 'it was something I ate.'"

"Oh." Kallus ran his hand through his hair. "I really don't know what happened." He confessed.

"Is this about 6B5?" Thrawn asked.

This sobered up the bedridden man quick. He was so blunt about it. Had they figured him out? 'Oh god.'

"N-no, why would you think that? I'm over t-them." He was a terrible liar while medicated.

"It's okay Kallus. It's understandable. You were close to them." Lyste put his hand on the mans shoulder. "I know it really surprised you when you found out they were a dirty rebel spy, you couldn't have helped it."

This was getting a bit sappy. Not that Kallus cared that much. He just knew he was going to regret this happening later, especially with it happening in front of Pryce and Thrawn.

"How did you know?" The agent looked down.

"It was obvious. Ever since the execution, you've slowly declined." The Chiss monotoned.

"But I've done all my assign-" 

"What he means is you're not mentally all there. Your work has been great. But you're not you anymore." The younger lieutenant cut him off with a caring pat on his back.

"Right." The woman said briskly. "We have come here to tell you, you will probably have to stay here for a few days until you get better. After that we will discuss what we will do with you."

"What to do with me?!" Kallus's eyes widened.

"Don't worry my friend. It's nothing bad. We are just seeing if you are fit to continue your work here." Lyste reassured him poorly. "You'll be safe."

"We should be leaving. We are fairly busy right now." Thrawn headed towards the open curtains.

"Yes, and don't worry about meetings and such. Lyste will keep you updated everyday." The Governor followed the blue male.

"Okay I will see you tomorrow, ok?" The man patted his back with that and left the room, closing the curtains.

Kallus was stunned by everything that was said. However, the drugs took the heaviness out of the situation and he went back to his daydreaming, soon falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be honest is this boring? I promise this is going somewhere
> 
> I need feedback


End file.
